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Godsend_1
Member

since 2001-04-19

Posts 247
great state of illinois

0 posted 2003-05-14 05:00 AM

unnumb
my world is unnumbing.
all my feelings onrushing.
my world is caving in
lying helpless on the floor
cringing in pain that i only feel in my soul
life rushing out
i am dying to live on
and to not live anymore
this flood of unrelenting emotion
a torent never ceasing
of pain never ending
tears stream forth
and scars apear anew
scabs healed over picked raw
bleeding and oozing
life neverending
my world is unnumbed
left open and soar
beaten and wounded
lying in a puddle on the floor
people walk by
and snicker and laugh
and the mess on the ground
left when feelings rush in

all that is said and all that is thought flows through the young

never_a_princess
Member

since 2001-06-09

Posts 82
Show Me the Money

1 posted 2003-05-14 07:57 AM

wow.. really good vent, ben. really. very dark and sad and.. i liked the use of the word "rush" in your lines of poetic wonder.

Friends r angels who lift u 2 ur feet when ur wings have trouble remembering how 2 fly.
Stumbling blox can b stepping stones if u allow them 2 b.

Tabitha LeAnn
Member

since 2003-03-27

Posts 50
Kansas, USA

2 posted 2003-05-14 02:01 PM

IM NOT SURE WHAT HONESTLY TO SAY ABOUT THIS POEM BUT TRUST ME THAT IS A VERY GOOD THING. I LOVED HOW THIS WAS LIKE I COULD ALMOST FEEL THE PAIN YOU WERE EXPLAINING. THIS MADE ME THINK WHICH I LIKE IN A POEM. I COULD REALLY RELATE TO WHAT I THOUGHT THIS POEM WAS SAYING AND I LOVED IT IT WAS SO AMAZINGLY WRITTEN AND EXPLAINED. I LOVED YOUR CHOICE OF WORDS TO EXSPRESS YOURSELF IN THIS ONE. NEVER STOP WRITTING. ILL CONTINUE TO LOOK FORWARD TO READING YOUR WORK. BREATHE TAKING

punkrockerrobin

Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 1180
Sparks, NV

3 posted 2003-05-14 04:42 PM

BENNERZ IF EVERYTHING OK? YOU KNOW I'M HERE FOR YA HUNNY! YOU MY BUDDY I LOVERS YA!! GOOD POEM.
ROBIN

hi my name is robin and i am addicted to poetry and men!
cody saw some pigs so he tried to fly but he fell and went BOOM!

FlyingCloud
Member

since 2003-04-28

Posts 151
A little place inside my head

4 posted 2003-05-14 05:07 PM

I like it. It's raw and brutally honest, no stops all. Well done!

+Genuine poetry can communicate before it is understood.+
T. S. Eliot (1888 - 1965)

Godsend_1
Member

since 2001-04-19

Posts 247
great state of illinois

5 posted 2003-05-16 02:23 AM

i am really glad you guys liked it thank you rfor your replies

all that is said and all that is thought flows through the young

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