Teen Poetry #6 |
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Godsend_1 Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 247great state of illinois |
unnumb my world is unnumbing. all my feelings onrushing. my world is caving in lying helpless on the floor cringing in pain that i only feel in my soul life rushing out i am dying to live on and to not live anymore this flood of unrelenting emotion a torent never ceasing of pain never ending tears stream forth and scars apear anew scabs healed over picked raw bleeding and oozing life neverending my world is unnumbed left open and soar beaten and wounded lying in a puddle on the floor people walk by and snicker and laugh and the mess on the ground left when feelings rush in all that is said and all that is thought flows through the young |
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© Copyright 2003 Ben Redshaw - All Rights Reserved | |||
never_a_princess Member
since 2001-06-09
Posts 82Show Me the Money |
wow.. really good vent, ben. really. very dark and sad and.. i liked the use of the word "rush" in your lines of poetic wonder. Friends r angels who lift u 2 ur feet when ur wings have trouble remembering how 2 fly. |
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Tabitha LeAnn Member
since 2003-03-27
Posts 50Kansas, USA |
IM NOT SURE WHAT HONESTLY TO SAY ABOUT THIS POEM BUT TRUST ME THAT IS A VERY GOOD THING. I LOVED HOW THIS WAS LIKE I COULD ALMOST FEEL THE PAIN YOU WERE EXPLAINING. THIS MADE ME THINK WHICH I LIKE IN A POEM. I COULD REALLY RELATE TO WHAT I THOUGHT THIS POEM WAS SAYING AND I LOVED IT IT WAS SO AMAZINGLY WRITTEN AND EXPLAINED. I LOVED YOUR CHOICE OF WORDS TO EXSPRESS YOURSELF IN THIS ONE. NEVER STOP WRITTING. ILL CONTINUE TO LOOK FORWARD TO READING YOUR WORK. BREATHE TAKING ![]() |
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punkrockerrobin![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
BENNERZ IF EVERYTHING OK? YOU KNOW I'M HERE FOR YA HUNNY! YOU MY BUDDY I LOVERS YA!! GOOD POEM. ROBIN hi my name is robin and i am addicted to poetry and men! |
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FlyingCloud Member
since 2003-04-28
Posts 151A little place inside my head |
I like it. It's raw and brutally honest, no stops all. Well done! +Genuine poetry can communicate before it is understood.+ |
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Godsend_1 Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 247great state of illinois |
i am really glad you guys liked it thank you rfor your replies all that is said and all that is thought flows through the young |
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