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snoduck
Member

since 2002-11-15

Posts 99
Selah, WA

0 posted 2003-05-08 03:14 PM

Good night, and
Sweet dreams my love
I hope you're not
As sad as I am tonight.
I hope you have
Fared well in your days
And held your spirit
Beyond all standards
In your adventures.
I always manage
To forget about my pain
When I look at
Your faceless pictures
But not today
For I have endured
A lifetime of pain
Due to your ignorance
I have seen your face.

At last I have
Captured your heart
Only to see you
Ride fearlessly, on
The bareback horse
That you call life.
I can vomit up blood
Or cry endless rivers
Of sorrow
Left from better days.
My heart and spirit
Were broken by you
In my chase for love.
Any hopes I may
Have had, you
Managed to destroy
So I will lie here
Crying.

EleanorMoonbaby
Member

since 2002-09-02

Posts 202
England, UK

1 posted 2003-05-08 05:12 PM

I'm usually a little wary of poems with the word "crying" in the title as they usually turn out to be angsty to the point of parody, but this one was actually extremely well-written, and you managed to avoid the major cliches. I liked the fact that you tried to avoid negative emotions towards the person the poem is aimed at. Nice one!
Ellie

I'm not dead, OK? I'm just a little electroencephalographically challenged!

Tabitha LeAnn
Member

since 2003-03-27

Posts 50
Kansas, USA

2 posted 2003-05-09 03:12 PM

THIS WAS A GREAT POEM!!! SOMEWHAT HARD FOR ME TO UNDERSTAND BUT DONT TAKE IT PERSONALLY IM KINDA SLOW. ANYWAYS I WAS TOUCHED BY THIS IT WAS VERY DEEP. BESIDES WHO AM I TO CRITIQUE SOMEONE ELSES FEELINGS. I REALLY ENJOYED THIS I USALLY DONT GO FOR SUCH DARK POEMS BUT THIS ONE SORT OF HAD A LIGHT WITH THE DARKNESS TO IT THAT SORT OF PULLED ME INTO IT. IT GREW ON ME WE CAN JUST SAY THAT. NEVER STOP WRITTING. YOU HAVE AN AMAZING TALENT. BUT COULD YOU PLEASE KEEP IN MIND TO EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE WRITE A LESS COMPLICATED POEM FOR THE SLOWER PEOPLE LIKE ME OUT HERE TO UNDERSTAND. ~THANKS~

BrokenDreams
Member

since 2003-02-09

Posts 425
In The Clouds

3 posted 2003-05-09 04:59 PM

^What EleanorMoonbaby said. She took the words right outta my mouth.
Jenni

To hate you must first have loved.

CwboyAtHeart
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 541
Selah, WA, USA

4 posted 2003-05-09 08:24 PM

Erica! I've missed you around here... Haven't talked to you in a while. I enjoyed this poem, although dark, it was good. I really like your poems. You're a great writer and I'm glad to see you post again. Not sure what's goin on, but if you need to talk, you know I'm here.

      - Cody -

Note To Self:  If Pigs Can Fly, So Can I!!!

If someboy laughs at me, does that make me funny or just plain stupid?

SilentTears
Member

since 2003-02-15

Posts 371
Lost and Broken

5 posted 2003-05-09 11:38 PM

This is a very good poem. It was wonderfully expressed. I really enjoyed reading this! Nice job!

As I smile at everyone else, I'm dying inside... ~Me

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