The girl in the back - pipTalk Forums

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blueyedlioness
Member

since 2003-04-24

Posts 289
USA

0 posted 2003-05-07 04:11 PM

She sat and stared off into space
In the back pew of the church
Thinking of some other place
Not so honorable on this earth

We sat in front and whispered
About the things she did
Upstanding, proud, could not be hurt
We had nothing to be hid

And we would never be in her place
We were much too smart
Never would an innocent face
Reflect a broken heart

Watching her wipe away the tears
Thinking no one could see her weep
Pretending to be concerned with her fears
Thinking of the good reputation we'd keep

Those days have passed, she finally left
Gone to a place she's loved at least
Now another girl sits in the pew in the back
Pretends not to notice the "concern" of the beasts

No longer in front to scorn her decisions
Notice only contempt in the faces I see
No longer believing in dreaming and wishes
For the girl in the back is now me

blackandwhitehorizon
Member

since 2003-05-05

Posts 183
an akward state of mind

1 posted 2003-05-07 08:25 PM

nice poem... i especially like the last stanza

*Belabebeautiful*

Senior Member

since 2003-01-03

Posts 696
washington, USA

2 posted 2003-05-08 12:49 PM

Beautifully written. I loved the rythm to this poem and the word choice/word placement, it really made the meanings stand out. Well done, Wonderfull Write
~Live and Laugh~

Always strive for excellence never perfection.
~Bella~

BabieDoll
Member

since 2003-02-13

Posts 268
BFE

3 posted 2003-05-08 10:11 AM

I loved this poem. I think it ended differently then I expected, though I think I had an idea that 'you' would end up being the girl in the back. Either way, this was a great poem. Good job.

~J.Lynn

"In life you must dance like no one is watching, sing like no one is listening and love like it's never going to hurt..."

ljossberir
Member

since 2003-05-04

Posts 81
Ny, USA

4 posted 2003-05-08 02:56 PM

awesome poem, sometimes the extremely unexpected happens, catches us all off guard
nice.
-matt

FlyingCloud
Member

since 2003-04-28

Posts 151
A little place inside my head

5 posted 2003-05-08 08:56 PM

"No longer in front to scorn her decisions
Notice only contempt in the faces I see
No longer believing in dreaming and wishes
For the girl in the back is now me"

My favorite line in the whole piece.

I think this poem was to show us how it is like to live in someone else's shoes (or pews). Well done!

+Genuine poetry can communicate before it is understood.+
T. S. Eliot (1888 - 1965)

jaysh
Member

since 2003-04-16

Posts 133
IL, USA

6 posted 2003-05-08 09:05 PM

wonderful, art with words, keep up the goood work, good write!

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