The me that died - pipTalk Forums

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MattGarcia
Junior Member

since 2003-01-04

Posts 19
Texas, USA

0 posted 2003-05-03 12:32 PM

The me that died

There once was a feeling
I could feel inside
It was a wonderful feeling
That has now died

I felt complete
So perfectly whole
Now inside
I feel a big hole

Nothing could touch us
Or so I thought
It was too perfect
We hardly ever fought

And when we did
I always just knew
That the next day
It would all be through

The new me was great
Such a happy young guy
It was such a tragedy
The way he had to die

[This message has been edited by MattGarcia (05-03-2003 12:37 AM).]

Barbara
Junior Member

since 2003-01-24

Posts 32

1 posted 2003-05-03 03:04 AM

hey..... thats a great poem!
I fell just like you in this poem..
Hope it`ll be better soon

punkrockerrobin

Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 1180
Sparks, NV

2 posted 2003-05-03 04:45 AM

good poem but i think you could go deeper into it.
robin

hi my name is robin and i am addicted to poetry and men!
cody saw some pigs so he tried to fly but he fell and went BOOM!

AlostHeart
Member

since 2003-05-01

Posts 78
Wisconsin, U.S.

3 posted 2003-05-03 09:42 AM

This is a good poem. Hopefully you guys can still be friends. The same thing happened to me and we worked things out.

blueyedlioness
Member

since 2003-04-24

Posts 289
USA

4 posted 2003-05-03 06:58 PM

I like the ending. Nice job of putting it all together.

FlyingCloud
Member

since 2003-04-28

Posts 151
A little place inside my head

5 posted 2003-05-03 11:41 PM

This hit a little too close to home for me.
Good work.

^~Whoever does not love his work cannot hope that it will please others.~^
Unknown

jayd
Junior Member

since 2003-05-04

Posts 13

6 posted 2003-05-04 07:41 AM

hey i really liked ure poem i only wrote my first poem tonight and i jut wish i could show how i feel as well as you

jayd
Junior Member

since 2003-05-04

Posts 13

7 posted 2003-05-04 07:42 AM

hey i really liked ure poem i only wrote my first poem tonight and i jut wish i could show how i feel as well as you

MattGarcia
Junior Member

since 2003-01-04

Posts 19
Texas, USA

8 posted 2003-05-04 05:20 PM

jayd, just write whats in your heart, and dont be afraid to share whats there with anyone...i think thats the secret to expression.

jayd
Junior Member

since 2003-05-04

Posts 13

9 posted 2003-05-06 04:27 AM

hey
i really enjoyed reading your poem as i have felt like this i wish my poems were as good

jayd
Junior Member

since 2003-05-04

Posts 13

10 posted 2003-05-06 04:29 AM

thanks for the advice ill try and do that

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