state of mind : misunderstood distress

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wings of the moon
Member

since 2003-03-27

Posts 323
Pink bubblegum land

0 posted 2003-04-26 07:02 AM

The head, aches as intruding sounds
talk of joy when all is hate.
Running from places to rooms
seeking salvation from my storm.

I found a corner, abandonned bathroom,
where the dripping rain echoes my heart,
the anger leaks till it can't stop,
let it all flood, le me drown!

I opened the door, unbolted my locks,
my salty lips, seem to mock
the questions asked, I cannot speak
only the caged wing fluttering my ribs,
could give away the fearsome things.

Jeremy Halstead
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 569
Morris, Ill. U.S.A

1 posted 2003-04-26 02:40 PM

the shortness of this poem is reflected by it's very theme...I like that...nice work.

Jeremy

Be it in the truest form, or a desperate lack thereof, fail not to understand that the inspiration is love.

blueyedlioness
Member

since 2003-04-24

Posts 289
USA

2 posted 2003-04-26 03:10 PM

The images are very well thought-out.

It took me awhile to get the flow of it, but once I did, I really liked it.

wings of the moon
Member

since 2003-03-27

Posts 323
Pink bubblegum land

3 posted 2003-04-26 03:38 PM

thank you Jeremy for your thoughtful reply

love,
Claire

"more than yesterday, less than tomorrow, i love you"

wings of the moon
Member

since 2003-03-27

Posts 323
Pink bubblegum land

4 posted 2003-04-26 03:39 PM

dear blueyedlioness,
thank you for your touching reply

love,
claire

"more than yesterday, less than tomorrow, i love you"

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

5 posted 2003-04-27 11:04 PM

my goodness, this is the most beautiful I've read in a long time, the emotion was so real, yet the mood was so detached. I loved the second stanza.
...still in shock..
~Lexy

sing'n fool
Member

since 2003-04-17

Posts 82
Morris, Il

6 posted 2003-04-27 11:26 PM

This is a very deep and troublesome piece. you did a good job at capturing the emotions. I enjoyed reading this, but it did make me a bit sad. I look foward to more of your work. Keep up the good work.

Sing'n Fool

Be yourself. Say what you feel. Nothing is wrong. To your own self be real!!

wings of the moon
Member

since 2003-03-27

Posts 323
Pink bubblegum land

7 posted 2003-04-28 01:27 PM

Dear Lexi,
Thank you so much for your response...I am touched that you like it...

love,
Claire x

"more than yesterday, less than tomorrow, i love you"

wings of the moon
Member

since 2003-03-27

Posts 323
Pink bubblegum land

8 posted 2003-04-28 01:28 PM

sing 'n fool

Thank you for your reply...!
Your commenst will leave me smiling all day

Claire xx

"more than yesterday, less than tomorrow, i love you"

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