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Teen Poetry #6
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The Invisible
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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The Invisible |
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Hallucination Member
since 2001-03-18
Posts 419 |
"The Invisible" (11/04/03) A head above water, an angel gasping for heaven. But his ticket's too old, so the doormen won't let him in. But he'll keep on knocking, folding his wings like praying hands. Hoping for forgivness, from the regime and highest man. But it's no use the ride is closed. Abused tears are killing the invisible He's climbing the ladder, trying to reach paradises walls. He's haunted and wanted, fighting the devil's hollow calls. "Rather die then to give in to your firery hell" he says. "Because God gave me life, that's not something you just forgets. The Caller's gone, the line is dead within the invisibles head... The hammer falls harder with each sin, but where does the nail begin? The pressure it rises with each stake, but soffercates in heartaches. But he'll never give up, He'll fight 'till the last drop... For it's not possible to always stay, the invisible... |
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| © Copyright 2003 Brian Eggertsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
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SilentTears Member
since 2003-02-15
Posts 371Lost and Broken |
"Abused tears are killing the invisible" Really liked that line. The whole poem is very good though. I liked the use of words. There may be a few spelling errors but nothing major. Overall, nice write! As I smile at everyone else, I'm dying inside... ~Me |
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Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
woah...I really liked this one...the very first line caught my eye so I just had to read the rest lol. this was great. nice job. got my vote. If You Wanna See A Rainbow, You've Gotta Live Through The Rain. And If You Wanna See Through Love, You've Gotta Live Through The Pain. |
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aaron woodside Member
since 2001-09-26
Posts 256 |
This was very good. Anything to do with Angels and or the infernal always sparks my interest. This was well done except for a few spelling mistakes. You have my vote. ex animo, Aaron Woodside IN NOMINE PATRI ET FILII ET SPIRITUS SANCTI |
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