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Teen Poetry #6
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Jeremy Halstead
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 569
Morris, Ill. U.S.A

0 posted 2003-04-19 04:00 AM


Just Passing

Just been nugded to my left
by an acquaintance so rare.
So long since we've talked,
but follow I dare.

A dingy cloud of smoke
I now must pass through,
while still I do walk
to the beat of the tune.

Amongst random faces,
I peeked and I peered;
My friend is now lost,
and now I must veer.

Pushing and coursing
through these bodies amass,
the clearing has reached me
just as you pass.

Was that lylac, jasmine,
or roses abloom.
Who though that heaven
could find me so soon?

This cascade of sences
stops all the noise.
The world now is empty,
and we fill the void.

Brushing just passed,
I'm lost in the lovely
breeze that surrounds you
and now has become me.

Let us just be here
for one moment more.
This second is something
I've not know before.

J.D.H.



Curse not upon love, for it is the greatest of great things.  Be it not love that curses you....but thy lack thereof.     -J.D.H.

[This message has been edited by Jeremy Halstead (04-19-2003 04:04 AM).]

© Copyright 2003 Jeremy D. Halstead - All Rights Reserved
tornskirt
Member
since 2003-03-30
Posts 87

1 posted 2003-04-19 07:35 AM


wow. i thought that your poem was very well written. i enjoyed it. thanks for the read, keep it up
SilentTears
Member
since 2003-02-15
Posts 371
Lost and Broken
2 posted 2003-04-19 11:23 AM


OOO! I really enjoyed this one! It's refreshing to read a poem not all 'depressing,' even though that is my favorite type of poetry! LoL. Either way, EXCELLENT write on your part! You have my vote!

As I smile at everyone else, I'm dying inside... ~Me

Justbleu
Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)
3 posted 2003-04-21 02:50 AM


This is a really nice piece....Enjoyed very much!!!!
Bridgette

"Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again.  To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown


LuckyFelix
Junior Member
since 2003-01-17
Posts 34
Here.
4 posted 2003-04-21 06:14 AM


I like this a lot. Very nice.
MissKlarmic
Member
since 2003-02-20
Posts 70
Canada,N.S
5 posted 2003-05-20 10:18 PM


wonderfull rhythm to it, a life in its own
BrokenDreams
Member
since 2003-02-09
Posts 425
In The Clouds
6 posted 2003-05-20 11:21 PM


awesome! You have my vote.
Jenni

There are three kinds of people in this world, those who can count, and those who can't.

Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175
VA
7 posted 2003-05-21 01:56 AM


I seriously wish someone would write something for me *sigh* I wish I could inspire someone or something..hrmm..n/m loved it nonetheless going to go cry now..

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

[This message has been edited by Ceinwyn (05-21-2003 01:57 AM).]

AlostHeart
Member
since 2003-05-01
Posts 78
Wisconsin, U.S.
8 posted 2003-05-21 12:11 PM


I like this Well written as well....
       ~Tori Louise~

Dont ever love a guy that will never love you back, no matter how hard you try.

blueyedlioness
Member
since 2003-04-24
Posts 289
USA
9 posted 2003-05-21 01:25 PM


Nice... I especially like the last two verses.

And it IS nice to read something not dark and depressing for once. Even though it's my favorite kind too.

Keep on writin'...

-Lioness

*Belabebeautiful*
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696
washington, USA
10 posted 2003-05-22 01:28 AM


Another Flawlessly presented one. I loved the idea behind this one, much like one that I wrote a while ago called casual Hello. The idea of a 'per chance' meeting intrigues me and I like the whole context of the poem. Well done, enjoyable read.
~Live and Laugh~

Always strive for excellence never perfection.
~Bella~

ESP
Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....
11 posted 2003-05-22 07:35 AM


Let us just be here
for one moment more.
This second is something
I've not know before.
---------------------

Oh yes, perfect!! Beautifully put
Love, Liz xx

"Gorge the honey from life, and live through the stomach aches knowing they will pass..." ~Liz Pinard 2003~

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