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Teen Poetry #6
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never gonna leave
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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never gonna leave |
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tornskirt Member
since 2003-03-30
Posts 87 |
this isn't one of my bests: i'm never gonna leave get used to me i'm the pretty little girl sitting under a tree i'm all alone but i will not cry i'm never gonna leave.... i'm never gonna leave not like you left me and broke my heart i could never hurt you not like that i'm never gonna leave... god i hate you for leaving me unlike i'd ever do to you |
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| © Copyright 2003 The Jessica - All Rights Reserved | |||
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I like this...the simple language read almost as a pout, but the abandonement issue belies any thoughts of "silly"--there's more here than meets the eye. If you are really not happy with the quality? Keep this and re work it, it's a great theme, and has lots of possibility.  |
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Paragon Member
since 2003-02-16
Posts 114 |
with some revision this could be a great poem, as it stands now, I'll agree that this isnt one of your best... but I can see potential within the thought or "theme". Steven |
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Jeremy Halstead Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 569Morris, Ill. U.S.A |
"I'm the pretty girl sitting under a tree... I'm all alone, but I will not cry...I'll never leave". really like those line...nice poem....kick his ass. Curse not upon love, for it is the greatest of great things. Be it not love that curses you....but thy lack thereof. -J.D.H. |
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SilentTears Member
since 2003-02-15
Posts 371Lost and Broken |
This is good. My boyfriend just broke up with me a week ago yesterday, so I can definetly relate to this. Very good work. As I smile at everyone else, I'm dying inside... ~Me |
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tornskirt Member
since 2003-03-30
Posts 87 |
i love it when ppl can relate to my poetry, i like that... thanks guys hey, silenttears, i'm sorry never leave the light on if you don't want to be found |
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