Broken Dreams Away - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Teen Poetry #6

Broken Dreams Away

BrokenDreams
Member

since 2003-02-09

Posts 425
In The Clouds

0 posted 2003-04-15 12:18 PM

The sun goes down.
Light betrayal from the sky.
With it go your problems.
Let them fly into the night,
Lost among the stars.

Free your mind,
go to sleep.
Release the empty thoughts,
Clear your tangled mind,
Unwind the twisted webs.

Peacefully you rest,
Until morning light breaks upon you,
like the waves that crash upon the shore.
Desperately trying to free yourself
But the surf always pulls you back.

Back into the fantasy world
Where realities are false,
And dreams are how you live.
You can't escape,
because you're never really there.

Former existances
are torn from you by the night,
Sweeping them away.
Forever lost, never to return.
Here comes a brand new day.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

I'm not sure how I feel about this one. Its either really good ot really bad. tell me what ya think.
Jenni

[This message has been edited by BrokenDreams (04-16-2003 11:50 AM).]

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

1 posted 2003-04-15 02:16 PM

Awesome poem!
Great visuals here. I think I like the 4th stanza the best.
Well done!

WinterWren
"Even a fool knows that we cannot touch the stars, but that doesn't keep the wise from trying."

BrokenDreams
Member

since 2003-02-09

Posts 425
In The Clouds

2 posted 2003-04-17 11:51 AM

Thank you. I think the 4th stanza is my favorite too.
Jenni

You are what you make yourself to be.

SilentTears
Member

since 2003-02-15

Posts 371
Lost and Broken

3 posted 2003-04-19 03:42 PM

This poem is absolutely beautiful! Wonderful imagery...and fantastic wording! Too bad you didn't consider it for the book, it would have made it! Really nice job...absolutely love!

As I smile at everyone else, I'm dying inside... ~Me

karebear07
Member

since 2003-04-15

Posts 64
Texas

4 posted 2003-04-19 04:30 PM

Wow so many thoughts that are beautiful and I can relate so much. wonderful poem.
-kara <><

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.