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Teen Poetry #6

Always There

Deep_Inside
Member

since 2002-02-14

Posts 377
i can't stop hiding

0 posted 2003-04-08 01:38 AM

I look at myself
From eyes across the room
Masked by darkness
And casting out gloom

Stopping time
As if he weren’t there
Snatching my thoughts
Through the stale smoky air

Listening aloud
But won’t answer me
The thoughts in his head
He’ll never let me see

He’s always there
He never goes away
I can’t find help
And I don’t know what to say

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

1 posted 2003-04-08 03:04 PM

I would have loved to have seen this dig a bit deeper, as in the visuals of "there now"--but you painted nicely how thought can create distance even in close quarters.

Enjoyed this much tho. I looked at each stanza, thinking, well this is a poem all by itself.

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

2 posted 2003-04-08 06:44 PM

Wonderful,
You did an excellent job with this one,
I hope you get into the book.

WinterWren
"Even a fool knows that we cannot touch the stars, but that doesn't keep the wise from trying."

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

3 posted 2003-04-12 04:38 PM

(big hugggssssssss) I too feel that entity always enshrouding me sometimes, and I believe to hide it in our back pocket is a lifetime commitment to make and have the angels ever closer within arms reach! (sigh) God Bless You, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Matt, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Justbleu
Member Elite

since 1999-08-31

Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)

4 posted 2003-04-12 07:20 PM

Very sad.....I believe I can relate!!!! Hope to read more of your work!!!
Bridgette

"Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again. To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown

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