Echoes Down the Corridor - pipTalk Forums

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tornskirt
Member

since 2003-03-30

Posts 87

0 posted 2003-04-04 08:16 PM

echoes down the corridor
empty footsteps there
quiet stillness
watching eyes
following me everywhere
silent whispers only
i can hear
the stark white walls
holding me in
protecting me
from you, from me
from the world
nurses smile
my sunken-eyed friends
look at our scars
but here
in this place
we are safe
no longer cowering
in secret worlds of pain
no longer alone
in the big cold world
our screams of pain
soothed by each other
walking the hallways
smiling weakly
at each other
an invisible thread
holding us together
echoes down the corridor
walls that bear our pain
if only walls could talk
if only you could know
know their stories
listen to their hearts
can you hear them bleeding?
beating,
showing that they’re
alive
can you see the tears?
echoes down corridor
distant voices
faded memories
echoes down the corridor
echoes of my life

EleanorMoonbaby
Member

since 2002-09-02

Posts 202
England, UK

1 posted 2003-04-05 10:58 AM

Another powerful piece. I like the imagery used here. Well done again

Ellie

I'm not dead, OK? I'm just a little electroencephalographically challenged!

BrokenDreams
Member

since 2003-02-09

Posts 425
In The Clouds

2 posted 2003-04-05 12:03 PM

very, very good. The imagery was great, and as short as the lines are, it flowed well. good job.
Jenni

don't ever let others tell you who you are

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

3 posted 2003-04-05 03:07 PM

(big hugggssssss) I am sure with all my heart the walls can talk, because even when memories feel more vague than ever, they are never gone, they are echoing throughout the halls and terraces and they know who they belong to! (sigh) May many more special memories fill your heart, dearest friend, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sahring!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

snoduck
Member

since 2002-11-15

Posts 99
Selah, WA

4 posted 2003-04-05 04:32 PM

this is a very well written poem. it shows pain, anger, love, hate, friendships, and lack there of. it seems to me you were hurting pretty bad. I hope you're alright now, and thank you for sharing this poem with the rest of us.

-Erica-

WhiteRose
Member Elite

since 2002-07-23

Posts 3208
somebody's dungeon

5 posted 2003-04-06 07:31 PM

A very powerful write.

Paragon
Member

since 2003-02-16

Posts 114

6 posted 2003-04-07 08:33 PM

Nice write.

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

7 posted 2003-04-08 07:04 PM

I don't think I can pick a favorite line,
kinda grim poem, but I like it alot.
So far this is my favorite of yours.
Your words paint the picture well.

WinterWren
"Even a fool knows that we cannot touch the stars, but that doesn't keep the wise from trying."

CocoBaci
Member Elite

since 2000-05-06

Posts 3043

8 posted 2003-04-08 11:08 PM

Strong writing & a fantastic read for me...
Smiles2uPoetFriend
*~coco~*

Deep_Inside
Member

since 2002-02-14

Posts 377
i can't stop hiding

9 posted 2003-04-09 01:45 AM

lots here underlying and on top powerfull i liked it thanks

carol
Senior Member

since 2003-01-25

Posts 624
Florida USA

10 posted 2003-04-12 07:17 PM

Real friends celebrate in who we are and have faith in all that we can become
Lots of Love
Rita

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