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Teen Poetry #6
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chelbs
New Member
since 2003-04-03
Posts 7
Wisconsin

0 posted 2003-04-03 09:17 PM



When I was born in '86,
My life as a youth began,
My coolest thing, my NES,
Became my very first friend.

As I grew up, within my home,
My life began to fill,
Homework began and left less time for games,
Though i continued still.

My school work was pushed aside,
to defeat the final boss,
My grades and friendship slipped away,
I didn't even reallize the loss.

I kept on playing my video games,
for many years to come,
My grades hit rock bottom,
I just reallized how I was dumb.

Hopefully now,
there's still time to recover,
the things that meant most,
th thing stupidity easily smothered.

In the far future,
I know that I'll be fine,
I just hope that MY childhood,
Would ONLY be mine!!!

© Copyright 2003 Ryan Chelberg - All Rights Reserved
Tabitha LeAnn
Member
since 2003-03-27
Posts 50
Kansas, USA
1 posted 2003-04-03 10:07 PM


I really enjoyed this poem it was great to read!! Although I did see some mistakes although they were very minor so don't sweat it. I was with you until the last verse then I got kinda lost. However, this was a great poem it could use alittle work but not enough to really make a difference. So great job!! Keep writing I look forward to more of your work!!!
SixtiesChick03
Junior Member
since 2003-03-27
Posts 49
NV
2 posted 2003-04-05 01:30 AM


That was a very good first poem and welcome to pip...cant wait to read more of your poetry. Keep up the good work!
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