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Teen Poetry #6
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2gd4uand2gd2beat
Junior Member
since 2003-04-01
Posts 10


0 posted 2003-04-01 08:27 PM


Life is your creation to anyone with emotion pouring inside.
So much that two hearts could clide.
Do I ever cross your mind,
Like it should be hard to find.
To anyone who tried,
To anyone who cried.
I miss you so much,
I think I've loved you like such.
You answers make me feel no pain,
Like other questions make me insain.
You take me out of every black hole,
Just like you were my soul.
Call my number I'll be home for you,
Trust me, I'm not like other girls, I'm new.
All my life I have prayed for someone like you,
Just so I could call you by boo.
I love and miss you much,
You could be loved like such.

© Copyright 2003 2gd4uand2gd2beat - All Rights Reserved
leighsa
Member
since 2003-02-27
Posts 74
Oregon, United States Of America
1 posted 2003-04-01 08:49 PM


I like this one too.... maby try not to ryme so much it kinda all colides together, but still a god write, by your work you are new to the poetry thing bu tyou will get much better...
ashgiel


*Belabebeautiful*
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696
washington, USA
2 posted 2003-04-01 09:15 PM


Hey! Welcome to passions! I liked the idea overall though your ryhme scheme seemed forced and some of the lines didn't make sense. It was an extremely emotional piece though, well done, Enjoyable read
~Live and Laugh~

People always ask me why I don't look toward my future I tell them to many interesting things are happening today.
~Bella~

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