Teen Poetry #6 |
Entropy |
Class Member
since 1999-12-21
Posts 93In Poetry Class |
Entropy Pondering my end of days Contemplating time gone by Hoping I had used them well With numbered breaths before I die Facing my mortality Knowing life is savory Wishing for more memories What has yet to become Much to do that?s left undone Battles still unwon Days are ones of brevity Wishing for longevity If life spanned eternity And we knew no entropy As to dying, there?s no way So why do anything today Be sure to have some pride Before you up and die Make sure your life is chased Don?t let it go to waste Don?t let this day pass you by Step right up and don?t be shy I?d rather great mortality Than scores of mediocrity -- Josh Work |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Josh! This is some work, all right! You are very wise for your years, my friend! This is very good. I would only suggest that you replace the "?" with an "apostrophe" so as not to confuse your readers. A very good job on this! Karilea - If I whisper, will you listen?... |
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wings of the moon Member
since 2003-03-27
Posts 323Pink bubblegum land |
oh its a beautiful piece.... "Facing my mortality Knowing life is savory Wishing for more memories" well done!!!! |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Josh~ Wow! This is VERY well written. You are quite the talented poet, and I am truly impressed. Excellent work! ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Looks like a success, Josh... |
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NSnaomian Member
since 2002-07-22
Posts 232In my troll closet I be |
Fantastic indeed! I also liked your second stanza. This is very well done. Laura "All that I desire to point out is the general principle that Life imitates Art far more than Art imitates Life." |
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