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Teen Poetry #6

About this Girl...

HeroicVillan
Junior Member

since 2002-11-09

Posts 34
Lost.....

0 posted 2003-03-25 08:35 PM

You cam to me in darkness
and brought the light to me
You came to me in blindness
and taught me how to see

the kindess of your choice
has caused my heart to lift
The softness of you voice
has forced my doubts to shift

Your and my reflection
in the water down below
has paused my dissection
of this joyful overflow

These feeling are so free
in a world full of lies
like a reflection me
in you soft, hazel eyes...

NSnaomian
Member

since 2002-07-22

Posts 232
In my troll closet I be

1 posted 2003-03-25 09:26 PM

Thats very cute...Like I said before, you'll get through it, just take it slow and easy. You have the strength if you want it.
Nice write, very cute and I liked the rhymes.
Laura

"All that I desire to point out is the general principle that Life imitates Art far more than Art imitates Life."
-Oscar Wilde

Drummerboy06
Junior Member

since 2003-03-23

Posts 46
Indiana

2 posted 2003-03-26 12:34 PM

Wow, you chose a tough rhyming style and managed to pull it off perfectly. It flows rather well, no odd breaks or pauses in the piece, the rhyme is perfect. It doesnt seem at all forced or obvious. You certainly outdid yourself on this one. Very nice, very very nice.

Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can't, and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it. - Robert F

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