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Empty Mind, Empty Street
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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Empty Mind, Empty Street |
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Hallucination Member
since 2001-03-18
Posts 419 |
"Empty Mind, Empty Street" (23/03/03) © 2003 Brian Eggertsen, All Rights Reserved a breath with no air no meaning nor sense an eye that just stare no seeing nor excistens a closed door, a small window a life dragged into court Empty mind, empty street.... a hand reaching out no contact nor feel a mouth screaming loud no impact nor voice of steel a cramped floor, a darken room a life voting for appeal Empty mind, Empty Street.... so sad, so cold, Is it just me or is it injustis? alone, empty, say why do we keep going on like this A human being no more nor less Empty mind, Empty Street... |
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| © Copyright 2003 Brian Eggertsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
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BabieDoll Member
since 2003-02-13
Posts 268BFE |
I really enjoyed reading this poem. I liked your choice of wording...I like reading poetry like yours! Great job hun!  ~J.Lynn  "In life you must dance like no one is watching, sing like no one is listening and love like it's never going to hurt..." |
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Lexy Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038California |
I like this piece very much. I had to read it twice to get the full meaning, either I'm tired or, or you did a good job on making the subject unobvious. I like the general yet personal theme, theres, no I's no...thats a nice change, I know its hard for me to do, get awy from the "woe is me" type poems.."a breath with no air," love that line and all the lines like it, "a hand reaching out, no contact nor feel" nor? doesn't really sem to flow there though,..I don't know migght think of changing that to or?..  I loved this piece, as I've loved verything I've read from you so far, kep posting, I'll keep readin'.~Lexy  |
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