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Teen Poetry #6
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Autumn Leaves
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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Autumn Leaves |
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LCBS Senior Member
since 2001-11-29
Posts 532Connecticut |
The air is amazingly still outside The thick smell of new coming autumn has enveloped me in surrealism It’s crisp, as crisp as it was that night… A breeze gently picks up my hair And the grass sways slightly under the stars A leave flutters past my feet And I am reminded of you I remember how they said you were like an autumn leaf so beautiful and full of life in your time so beautiful and young when you finally fell off your tree I remember how they said that a leaf flying in the wind Was you on your quest to be make it into heaven I always wondered if you made it there I remember how they said to think of you when we saw the leaves swirling in the beauty of the season They said that was you guiding us in our times of need And now I sit here and the leaves seem to fall from the heavens I pick one up and slip it in my pocket…. I will always carry your memory with me ~Lisa And this little masochist, she's ready to confess -Tori Amos [This message has been edited by LCBS (09-14-2002 09:38 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Lisa Bednarz - All Rights Reserved | |||
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sean_krazy Junior Member
since 2002-09-14
Posts 33 |
the poem sounded very beautiful...i dont know what to say...it sounded sensitive...jus a way a sensitive person like u are... cya jewel sean (sean_krazy) |
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anya Member
since 2002-07-27
Posts 393London, UK |
oh my, this was so lovley, eloquently written and has a really gentle quality to it, beautiful, just beautiful, Ok I'll stop gushing now, but thanks for sharing this anya |
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Kevin
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729Torrington, Ct, Usa |
 great language leeevery word in this poem echos fragility I love it |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Wow! Mighty fine writing here, Lisa. Master had mentioned to me once that you're one of the more impressive of the newer members of Teen. I didn't agree with him, to be honest, before reading this. You show a lot of developed talent and communicate your emotions very beautifully here. Your closing line is executed with utmost precision. I commend you and am adding this poem to my personal library, so I can remember why I started liking you.  Much praise, Parasite Learn to place poetry before people |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
I'm not used to adding threads to my library, naturally, I forget to hit the button all the time.  So here I go. |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Lisa~ This is such a beautiful and tender write. It reached in and grabbed my heart as I read. Extremely well written piece. Thanks for sharing it. Hugs, ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Brilliant writing, Lisa! The imagery is superb and really makes for quite a wonderful read. It's good to see you can take such a simple idea and bring it alive like this. Hope to see many more from you. I'll be looking. ~AF~ "No wonder I do not make people comfortable. I am a mirror. I have far too many things to say." - Mouthing the Words |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
 WOW! wow wow wow wow! This is...is...oh...I dont know how to discribe this. I'm just going to follow Parasite's suit and click the little library thing. You're an AWESOME poet!Are you scared? BOO! Are you now? |
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