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CSwtThng
Member

since 1999-07-28

Posts 124

0 posted 2003-03-19 12:59 PM

All I feel is confusion
But all you see is my illusion

I may appear so calm and clear
But I'm filled with anger and fear

I just want to run and hide
I feel so tangled up inside

I'm tired of this painful game
Will things ever be the same

Sometimes I don't want to deal
With these feelings that I feel

When did it get so complicated
I think I'd rather be sedated

PoeTik JusTice
Member

since 2003-01-05

Posts 186
California, USA

1 posted 2003-03-19 12:24 PM

Good write! I really enjoyed this!

XoXo Love Alwayz XoXo
*~Serena~*
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is to love, and be loved in return." --Moulin Rouge

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

2 posted 2003-03-19 02:03 PM

This one has my vote too! You need to post your work more often, I love it.

WinterWren
"Even a fool knows that we cannot touch the stars, but that doesn't keep the wise from trying."

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

3 posted 2003-03-19 07:18 PM

(big huggggsssss) Sometimes I too wish I was composed, I understand this feeling and I send angel hugs out to you, this will pass by! (sigh) God Bless You, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Ina
Senior Member

since 2000-10-09

Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada

4 posted 2003-03-20 04:37 PM

I feel evil (sorry), i did enjoy your poem, although i do think the ryhming could have been different. (me personally i dont rhyme very well) but they just seemed a tad forced.
other than that i did really enjoy the submission, best fo luck!

Regina

"Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage, Then someone will say what is lost can never be saved"
-Smashing Pumpkins

WhiteRose
Member Elite

since 2002-07-23

Posts 3208
somebody's dungeon

5 posted 2003-03-20 07:22 PM

When did it get so complicated
(I think) I'd rather be sedated

I enjoyed the flow of this piece. The only problem I had was with this last couplet.

Though removing the words in parenthesis would make the last line shorter, I think it would improve the rhythm. Could just be me though.

It gets my vote.

[This message has been edited by WhiteRose (03-20-2003 07:22 PM).]

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