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Teen Poetry #6
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| Teen Poetry #6 |
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Lost |
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TigerZ Member
since 2002-01-02
Posts 83Ontario, Canada |
Sitting here alone People all around Surrounded by my own precious world. Wish I may With all my might Back again He won’t come tonight. Lost is my love At my own fault For something That wasn’t even fun. Now my life is a void And I see no point for joy. Yet the wheel Endlessly spins And life goes on Although I wish it will end. Tomorrow brings another day Maybe even Another fish in the sea. With this in mind I continue on my way And pray that someday I will find the right one for me. A life without love…is no life at all. |
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| © Copyright 2003 Leandie Erasmus - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Albino_Jenn Member
since 2003-03-03
Posts 105Ontario, Canada |
I really liked the poem, but try to stray away from the overplayed phrases such as "another fish in the sea"...Good Job I really enjoyed the read!! Jenn **Hope is what Shields us from the harsh realities of life** |
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TigerZ Member
since 2002-01-02
Posts 83Ontario, Canada |
lol thanks for replying. ill remember that next time. =) it sounds better when you pause for a second after each line. A life without love…is no life at all. |
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Albino_Jenn Member
since 2003-03-03
Posts 105Ontario, Canada |
ya your right about the pause thing..it does sound even better that way..I hope I didn't offend you by what I said...good poem!! Jenn **Hope is what Shields us from the harsh realities of life** |
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