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Teen Poetry #6
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Albino_Jenn
Member
since 2003-03-03
Posts 105
Ontario, Canada

0 posted 2003-03-13 03:39 PM


Although it seems I am just a girl
There’s so much more inside
And only those I truly love
Can know the fears I hide
The hurt and pain of everyday
The tears I cry alone
These are things I only tell
To the one, the only, the unknown
The one who never speaks
Never breathes or hears
The one that isn’t there at all
But helps take away my tears
This thought of one that could be there
But has yet to be found
Is all a dream, and nothing more
There’s not a soul around
It’s love in itself that helps you deal
It’s job is never done
And until I find this thing called love
I won’t tell my fears to any one


****************************
I don't know how I feel about this poem..any comments would be greatly appreciated!!!
Thanks, Jenn

© Copyright 2003 Jenn - All Rights Reserved
NSnaomian
Member
since 2002-07-22
Posts 232
In my troll closet I be
1 posted 2003-03-13 03:56 PM


"The one who never speaks
Never breathes or hears
The one that isn’t there at all
But helps take away my tears"
This whole piece is done well, though there were some rhythm problems when I read it. I liked the lines above the best
Laura

"All that I desire to point out is the general principle that Life imitates Art far more than Art imitates Life."
-Oscar Wilde

Lexy
Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038
California
2 posted 2003-03-13 06:34 PM


I liked the lines that laura quoted as well. I also like the whole theme, sad, but with a touch of hope. great piece.
~Lexy

Trapped
New Member
since 2003-03-13
Posts 4
Florida
3 posted 2003-03-13 07:23 PM


The whole poem was wubable
vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
4 posted 2003-03-14 01:32 AM



Jenn~
Nice job on this piece.
I very much enjoyed the read.
Well done.
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

DarkSide_Blues
Junior Member
since 2003-03-08
Posts 41
Fl, Usa.
5 posted 2003-03-14 02:36 AM


Excellent. I know alot of people who think along the same lines as this peice. You've conveyed raw emotion into text. ^_~ Congratulations! Btw..<_< >_> I'm albino too..I feel the pain..LOL ^___^ \V/.
frolicking dolphin
Member
since 2003-02-23
Posts 268
my own special world
6 posted 2003-03-14 03:03 PM


I think the same way, very nice and touching poem

~*~Karen~*~

~Dream like you'll live forever,live like you'll die tomorrow~

Silent~Inspirations
Junior Member
since 2003-01-25
Posts 13

7 posted 2003-03-15 08:41 PM


I loved this poem... It was just so great.  Keep writting.
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