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Teen Poetry #6
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Darkness
Member
since 2002-10-17
Posts 202
The place just beyond my eyes, where my spirit flies.

0 posted 2003-03-12 12:30 PM


A double blast from cannons
Concerned with cultivating mindless souls
And carrying out the crimes and corruption
Bringing with it the corrosion of Kingdoms
Pulled enough intolerance
To open up a brand new door
Of War.

Here I am in the middle of it all
Abusive...
Pill Popping...
Binge Drinking...
And Weed Smoking...
Parents.
In caught in the Prime Meridian
Of two side who fight with each other
And then turn on their own kind.
And when they self destruct
They blame it on the innocent in the middle
Who was only trying to make peace

PEACE IS DEAD!

This is about the whole world
I'm just using bad parents as a metaphor
I have experienced them both
Bad parents and a rotting world.
A girl two and a half minutes away
Gets punched in her jaw that day after her Birthday
And by who?
DEAR OL' DAD!
Fast-forward...
Another girl, living in Toledo, who loves a boy,
Repeatedly gets ravished emotionally
By a mother who is mad at her...
BECAUSE OF HER OWN PAST!
Meanwhile the boy she loves tells his Mom
That he doesn't really want to live anymore
AND HIS MOTHER DARES HIM TO COMMIT A SELF SACRIFICE!
"Why don't you just do it then?"
There I am his only comfort
One a warm summer's night
Incubated with sadness
I didn't talk much
Just listened.
He was hard to comprehend, however
Because he was choking on suicidal sobs
Its ok, I like to think I saved his life sometimes.

That’s why I'm the Prime Meridian
I remain the stronghold in the middle
I'm here to listen, and try to mend them,
To intertwine their lives in mine
And make the sun rise on their aching emotions

So I guess this wasn't about the world
My whole world is right here...
In my heart
My world stays spinning with my friends’ breath
ALL OF THEM!
As for the world outside of me
Something has to give
PEACE IS DEAD!
You can chase it with all your committees and protests.

But when the whole world is dead...
THERE'S YOUR PEACE!


© Copyright 2003 Sam Prond - All Rights Reserved
PoeTik JusTice
Member
since 2003-01-05
Posts 186
California, USA
1 posted 2003-03-12 01:01 PM


This was Extremely powerful...Wow. Being the prime meridian would definitely be a tough place to stay.  Good work!

XoXo Love Alwayz XoXo
     *~Serena~*
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is to love, and be loved in return." --Moulin Rouge

*Belabebeautiful*
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Senior Member
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696
washington, USA
2 posted 2003-03-13 12:53 PM


This one was written a little differently than your other poems it seems to me. I didn't like this one as much as some of your others as far as flow and rythm goes, but I LOVED the message you were sending out here, It powerful and meaningfull and I enjoyed reading this a great deal!
~Live and Laugh~

People always ask me why I don't look toward my future I tell them to many interesting things are happening today.
~Bella~

Mistletoe Angel
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Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
3 posted 2003-03-13 10:43 AM




(big hugggssssssss) I too wouldn't want to be there, or the Equator in that matter, I want to be like the Tropic of Capricorn and slowly work to merge with the Equator and hope peace again can come in the long run! (sad sigh) There is no peace now, but we could be much more closer if that Bush can stop being so adamant about war, this has my vote, I love it, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Sam, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton


"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

[This message has been edited by Mistletoe Angel (03-13-2003 10:43 AM).]

Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
4 posted 2003-03-13 08:26 PM


Wow, you certainly put a lot of thought into this piece.  Well done!

           
R.E.S.P.E.C.T.
Aretha Franklin  

chasing rain
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737
Canada
5 posted 2003-03-13 08:48 PM


Darkness-

I liked it. You obviously put a lot of thought into this idea, and you express your ideas well. What bothered me was the first stanza. It didn't seem to have a point, so I wasn't able to understand the direction in which you were headed. However, the first stanza seemed to be written quite poetically, despite the confusion.

The rest of the poem was good.

Leah
vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
6 posted 2003-03-14 01:54 AM



Wow...this is a VERY powerful piece.
I could hear the voice behind the words, loud and clear.
Well done.
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

Silent~Inspirations
Junior Member
since 2003-01-25
Posts 13

7 posted 2003-03-15 08:27 PM


I loved your poem.  It was metaphorically creative and sent a strong message that needs to be sent more often.  I'd give you a thumbs up if you could see it, so instead you can give yourself one.
carol
Senior Member
since 2003-01-25
Posts 624
Florida USA
8 posted 2003-04-12 08:20 PM


Real friends celebrate in who we are and have faith in all that we can become
Lots of Love
Rita

SilentTears
Member
since 2003-02-15
Posts 371
Lost and Broken
9 posted 2003-04-20 12:38 PM


This is such a moving poem. I felt it the whole way through. It's depressing to think about all the infinite problems going on in the world...and you captured these problems in the palm of your hand. Wonderful poem. Give yourself a pat on the back for this one. It's got my vote!

As I smile at everyone else, I'm dying inside... ~Me

StephyBob07
Junior Member
since 2003-04-18
Posts 37
Texas
10 posted 2003-04-20 04:52 PM


whoa, this poem blew me away. i really could feel your pain. so incredible. u have my vote! ~stephy

Dreaming is the best thing you can do.

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