Teen Poetry #6 |
Why Mikes???? |
Victoria7 Junior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 21 |
i dont really like this poem so any suggestions would be great, i just needed to get it out because im really confused about a situation i have gotten myself in. You’re the only ones that I want, You’re the only ones that I can find a place in my heart, w/ in three years I have had 4 of you. I have broken your heart, Into a thousand little pieces. I tease you I taunt you. You have shattered my dreams, Made me feel as if life will never go on, You hold the key to my heart. I try to move on, There’s other ones that I want, But I always end back up w/ a mike. Someone told me not knowing of my history, No matter what I do Stay away from Mikes I know this isn’t true in all cases, But I have never been hurt by someone as bad as I have been hurt by a Mike |
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© Copyright 2003 Victoria7 - All Rights Reserved | |||
frolicking dolphin Member
since 2003-02-23
Posts 268my own special world |
I like the general idea of the poem, but it doesn't seem to really flow from verse to verse, it would probably be helpful if you created some kind of a bridge from each verse, I thought this was written well but didn't really flow that well. If I was too harsh, I'm sorry I wasn't trying to be. ~*~Karen~*~ |
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CwboyAtHeart Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541Selah, WA, USA |
Oh my gosh! lol Sorry, this isn't funny... But "Mikes" have been kinda a joke with my friends, cause one of my friends was really hurt by a guy named Mike, so "Mike" became a bad word... "You stupid Mike" "Mike You!" and so on... Must be something about Mikes. Anyway... The poem didn't flow great, but it was a good idea. I hope things work out for you, try dating somebody that isn't a Mike. Thanks for posting. - Cody - |
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