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Teen Poetry #6
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Abandoned-To-Be
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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Abandoned-To-Be |
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PoeticGoddessOfDepression Member
since 2002-07-02
Posts 439I am everywhere |
(passions has a book!? Awesome!  )Everytime I feel the bitter wind of winter bite the back of my neck I remember everything. The way your eyes glew so gray, so full but only of dismay. Winter is leaveing me though, along with all my hope. Nothing completes me more than this, I can't take it, I can't grasp it, I can't keep it, I can't lose it, I can't have it, but I can't leave it. Remember when you told me, that as long as I remember you, You'll always be here, (in some sense at least.) Remember... when I discovered you're a liar? I'll never forget the tone you had when you said sorry. Your actions almost made me believe you. And the way we embraced and the whole world disappeared until you pulled away and all was cold again. We had plans, and you changed them. We had chemistry, and you erased it. We had love, and you lost it. I hate you for making the world beautiful. I hate you for taking the rain away. I hate you for lighting up my 'pretty face'. I hate you for the love you showed me everyday. I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you So just... Stay here with me. "Dreams are bad when all they do is leave the truth behind. |
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| © Copyright 2003 Sara Nicole - All Rights Reserved | |||
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aries_luv_ppl Senior Member
since 2001-09-20
Posts 1448Universal Mind |
well expressed. I would think if lines break more evenly it would be better. But that's just my two-cent worth. ~Every girl has a dream within. |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggssssssss) Oh Sara, this is so very sad, sweet friend, my heart goes out to you and I hope soon someone can truly be there for you in the sense that even if he can't hold your hand every minute he will have faith and trust you and be there as best as he can! (sigh) This is very heartfelt!  Yep yep yep, Passions does have a book being worked on, and YOU can be part of it too, yay! You can also submit your poems here to get a better reception from many other poets who can vote for you, just as I have put my vote proudly for you!/main/forumdisplay.cgi?action=topics&forum=Reflections+on+the+Web&number=77&type=m Your poem is wonderful, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Saras, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." Shakira [This message has been edited by Mistletoe Angel (03-05-2003 02:41 PM).] |
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devinechild22 Senior Member
since 2002-08-28
Posts 571 |
YAY! Sara wrote a poem! I`m so happy! It was so good. My vote is in. *Allison* |
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BrokenDreams Member
since 2003-02-09
Posts 425In The Clouds |
This is REALLY good. i felt the whole thing and it was just awesome. you have my vote. Jenn think about this: everyone you know will someday die. |
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NSnaomian Member
since 2002-07-22
Posts 232In my troll closet I be |
I absolutely loved this! Your expression was great. Though I don't know you and don't know everything about this interval in your life I hope you find your way. This piece is definitely ready for the Passions book! I hope to see some more from you soon. Good luck, Laura "All that I desire to point out is the general principle that Life imitates Art far more than Art imitates Life." |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Mmm, yes. The ending is a stunner -- and yet, exactly where it was leading to. And check the spelling of leaving. |
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lauren03 Member
since 2002-01-04
Posts 64oh, usa |
your poem is so good, i loved it i really know how u feel because i'm going through the same thing, it's really sad too. |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Sara! I'm happy to see that you've subitted a poem. And a very good one. Keep growin' in your writing. You've come far. Ed |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
I really enjoyed this poem, it was very well written, and the way it end was like...very intersting. all in all i very emotional write. Regina |
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dinky Member
since 2002-10-19
Posts 258 |
yay!!! i voted 4 u lucy!!! hehehe this was awesome, i was glad to find that you posted one keep postin more o yea, and what bout our book?? lol ~sam~ "sometimes i just feel like |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
I like this one. I particularly enjoyed the ending, but the whole thing is nicely done. ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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foreverwithyou Member
since 2002-10-20
Posts 204Wonderland |
This was awesome Lucy!!! Keep it up!!! Im sure that Dezi would be so proud of u!!! "I am who I am who I am who am I?" |
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A.L Member
since 2003-03-15
Posts 131 |
Thank you so much for this poem, i thought i was the only one out there going through the things you described, i know how it feels to want someone so much and hate them even more for what they do to you, and you not being able to leave just because....its hard to explain a situation like this but you did it very well and i can relate! thank you  ) |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Very nicely done! ~ Trace my body with your words.. |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Absolutely marvelous. I love your creativity. Vote given. Jenn "Now I'm convinced that he's heaven sent, and must be out of his mind- mama he's crazy, crazy over me." |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
That love-hate tug of war is all too common and I can certainly relate. Well expressed! When you think you have heard it all, |
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devinechild22 Senior Member
since 2002-08-28
Posts 571 |
I`m votin again! |
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