Teen Poetry #6 |
The Twelve Years One Day It's Over |
HardHitter Junior Member
since 2003-03-25
Posts 23 |
Twelve years, that's how long it's gone 'til, we have been with each other healthy and ill. We grew up together, he was my best friend, I just didn't know that after this year, it was going to end. Every game we play, everyday that ends, the time gets closer where we break up as friends. Going to different high schools was the only thing that could break us apart, you don't know how hard it is, when you lose the other half of your heart. The athletic duo, that's who we are, we would work together, and get very far. Nothing could stop us, there was no way, but they finally found out how, by making us go our different ways. After the last game is over, after the last day ends, I'll always have to remember that we will always be friends. |
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© Copyright 2003 Brian James Watson - All Rights Reserved | |||
Albino_Jenn Member
since 2003-03-03
Posts 105Ontario, Canada |
I am going to just put a reply on this poem since I read them all. I really liked your poems, although they seem to have the same rhyme sceme..which isn't always a bad thing..but sometimes thoughts can be trapped behind trying to find a rhyme..I don't mean to put you down.....you seem like you have a burdened soul and a loving heart..someone filled with the want for love and devotion which you deserve....You seem like a total sweetheart and there should be more people out there like you.....welcome to passions!!! Keep on loving like it's never going to hurt.it's the only way to experience true love...good poems!!!! Jenn **Hope is what Shields us from the harsh realities of life** |
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HardHitter Junior Member
since 2003-03-25
Posts 23 |
Thanks Jenn. Yes, I really would like to improve on the rhyme scheme. I'm only 16, filled with a lot of emotions, and I'm sure I have a lot of poetry ahead of me. Thanks once again. |
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punkrockerrobin
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
good work keep it up you'll be pro in no time!!!good job and welcome to this happy family i am who i am and that's all that i am and all i shall ever be and if you don't like who i am then leave! |
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Albino_Jenn Member
since 2003-03-03
Posts 105Ontario, Canada |
No prob really I think people deserve to know when there work is good..and yours is...I am only 17 so I still too have the same problem as you..I love to rhyme and sometimes I think that my emotion may not be fully expressed because of it...you have the emotion there to have great potential Jenn **Hope is what Shields us from the harsh realities of life** |
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