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Teen Poetry #6

Moon.

LuckyFelix
Junior Member

since 2003-01-17

Posts 34
Here.

0 posted 2003-03-03 04:30 PM

Bright crimson orb, lain on cerilian sky.
Such a tiny bead of marble.
Keeping watch of Neptunes coastal boundries.
Sparks violence, pain, chaos, hate, evil.
And sets peace, healing, order, love and good.
In its nightly chase 'cross the heavenly plane.
Neither gaining, nor waining in trail.
So consistant.
Predictable.

Triskaidekaphobia
Member

since 2003-02-05

Posts 251
In a state of disrepair...

1 posted 2003-03-04 03:42 AM

This was truly brilliant! Finally someone who has a decent vocabulary.

I have only one piece of constructive criticism
"Cerulean"
Not
"cerilian"

That is of course if you mean the shade of blue.

This poem was truly great. Loved everything especially the mythology aspects!!! Keep it up!

There should be a psychology of feet. For do we not make decisions with our legs and walk about on our brains? What do you mean "No, not really"?

boy and his spirit
Junior Member

since 2002-08-26

Posts 41
within my heart

2 posted 2003-03-04 10:18 AM

this is a very nice poem. really I liked it. especially the ending. very well done.

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