Teen Poetry #6 |
taken away |
Riley
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain |
fingers wrap around each other hand intwine themselves between the courses all of the heart that has been put forth i am so vunerable and you dont seem to realize rain pours down around us, but we are protected and i don't want to be stepping out into the soggy grounds rain seems to patter down harder, urging me i turn to you and we are brought closer together and its nothing but a lie, until you find my soul forever with the droplets of rain *the bloody tide comes in on the shore, time after time* |
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© Copyright 2003 Riley Grant - All Rights Reserved | |||
Savage Quiescence Member
since 2002-07-29
Posts 326Wandering |
Wow, this painted a strong picture in my head the whole way through, which sometimes is not easy to do. Powerful ending. I certainly like it! Thanks for the read. ~Sky "Whatever life brings, I've been through everything, but now I'm on my knees again" -Creed |
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dertah Senior Member
since 2003-06-18
Posts 584 |
excellent work mate, cherreo. |
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BrokenDreams Member
since 2003-02-09
Posts 425In The Clouds |
I totally felt the whole thing. It was very powerful. Thanks for the read. -Jen |
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SimpleDiscourse Member
since 2003-04-24
Posts 79 |
I loved this poem. Lots of feeling. Keep it up. |
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Riley
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain |
thank you all for your comments. this is one of my not so good ones, but i am glad that you enjoyed it. i needed a release and quick so i wrote......thanks again for your kind words... riley *the bloody tide comes in on the shore, time after time* |
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Lexy Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038California |
The last line of the first stanza held great meaning. I loved this. And its nothing but a lie. So true. ~Lex |
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Match Member
since 2002-07-01
Posts 286Canada Edmonton |
This poem made me think of walks in the rain, the images were vivid and clear. I liked this poem. I wear my crown of thorns |
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Riley
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain |
i am a rain freak to say the least..i love the rain...thanks for replying riley * the pouring rain kisses my lips with innocence as you look into my eyes * |
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