Teen Poetry #6 |
Knights and Musicians |
Isabel Galaxia Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733 |
The ending is rushed and very weak. Lo siento A wall lies between the past and present Between life with you and this moment I can't feel your warmth Yet your voice echos like guitar strings The way you loved the way you cared Swore and promised and gave As my safety net, my other half You rode steadily on your white horse, banners flying, trumpets sounding. For years my life was changing, you were my constant No fortress had such support, such protection as had I I needed not to be rescued Yet you kept me from myself The demons of food and cutting and thought You fought off with your silver sword As my comforter, my treasured one You kept the devils and beasts at bay, arrows flying, bards singing. Somehow the fortress was invaded The love slain, the knight distracted I was fighting a losing battle Yet you were lured by the thought of a different life The sturdy walls had fallen and the music stopped You saddled your steed as you laid down your sword As my lost love, my heartache You road stealthily away on your white horse, banners shreading, footsteps resounding. Quiero pensar "no me importa..todo va bein," pero no puedo. And I hate that, I hate that. Bel "..but all natural objects make a kindred impression, when the mind is open to their influence" - Emerson [This message has been edited by Isabel Galaxia (02-17-2003 12:51 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2003 Isabel Galaxia - All Rights Reserved | |||
PoeTik JusTice Member
since 2003-01-05
Posts 186California, USA |
For some reason, I totally loved this poem! Good work!! XoXo Love Alwayz XoXo |
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NSnaomian Member
since 2002-07-22
Posts 232In my troll closet I be |
Very amazing and a great picture went along with this in my head..wow. It is important. Great job, amo su poema! "All that I desire to point out is the general principle that Life imitates Art far more than Art imitates Life." |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
This was really sad, but i LOVED how you described this. Very well written piece here. I hope to read more from you. Y mira, no te preocupas......disfrute la vida! Look at the sun and burn your eyes. You'll be fine in the end. |
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*Belabebeautiful*
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696washington, USA |
Isabel~ This was an amazingly well written piece, I enjoyed it very much. It was heart felt and full of emotion. And as for that other thing..No preocupe, la vida será buena una vez más. Pero usted debe tomar el malo con el bueno. ~Live and Laugh~ People always ask me why I don't look toward my future I tell them to many interesting things are happening today. |
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WinterWren Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044...Coming to |
Very sad and beautiful poem. I love it! Great job, I love how you put the whole Knight and fortress in there! Well done! WinterWren |
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