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KoKo
Senior Member

since 2003-02-15

Posts 995
Inside the shadow's shadow

0 posted 2003-02-15 09:08 AM

This could be my one last shot
This could be you
This could be my one last time
And I stutter that I'm through

Fear rising deep inside my throat
You just don't understand
The pain and fear that is holding me
Is what's pushing away your hand.

It takes much more than you expect
To break through the stubborn grip
That he still has me trapped inside
By the tightening noose and whip.

Please do not ask anything of me
That I won't be able to give
I'm trying my best to make this work
I'm struggling just to live.

All I need is just a place to rest
Beneath your protective arm.
Just a genuine promise that I can believe
That to me will come no harm.

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

1 posted 2003-02-15 10:40 AM

wow...I know this feeling....I loved the last two lines, well done, and welcome to Pip!!

KoKo
Senior Member

since 2003-02-15

Posts 995
Inside the shadow's shadow

2 posted 2003-02-15 10:51 AM

Thank you

And forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair. -Kahlil Gibran

BabieDoll
Member

since 2003-02-13

Posts 268
BFE

3 posted 2003-02-15 07:18 PM

Very good poem!

I could literally feel the words as I read. Absolutely wonderful!

~J.Lynn

"In life you must dance like no one is watching, sing like no one is listening and love like it's never going to hurt..."

KoKo
Senior Member

since 2003-02-15

Posts 995
Inside the shadow's shadow

4 posted 2003-02-15 08:29 PM

Thank you very much!

I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man.
--Chang Tzu

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

5 posted 2003-02-20 07:41 PM

Lauren~
This is yet another beautiful write from your pen.
I really enjoyed reading this.
~Vicky
"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

KoKo
Senior Member

since 2003-02-15

Posts 995
Inside the shadow's shadow

6 posted 2003-03-21 09:52 PM

Thank you Vicky!!!!!!

I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man.
--Chang Tzu

Albert J. Allie
Senior Member

since 2003-02-13

Posts 512
Queens NY

7 posted 2003-03-22 10:42 PM

Just a genuine promise that I can believe
That to me will come no harm.

~Something we all wish when we fall in love. But I pray you should never know the pain of love. Just the sweet touch of it.

~Al

BabieDoll
Member

since 2003-02-13

Posts 268
BFE

8 posted 2003-03-23 02:41 PM

Whoa! This is one of the few poems that actually sounded right with a rhyme scheme like that! I hate it when people rhyme and it sounds so childish or doesn't make the least bit of sense. But you did an excellent job hun! I hope to read more from you!

~J.Lynn

"In life you must dance like no one is watching, sing like no one is listening and love like it's never going to hurt..."

KoKo
Senior Member

since 2003-02-15

Posts 995
Inside the shadow's shadow

9 posted 2003-03-23 03:34 PM

Actually Albert...that's what this poem is about. It's saying that I've felt the pain of love too many times and I'm scared to be burnt now...And it's practically begging that I don't get hurt again...
BabieDoll: Thanks!! That's really awesome. Thanks so much!

I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man.
--Chang Tzu

Albino_Jenn
Member

since 2003-03-03

Posts 105
Ontario, Canada

10 posted 2003-03-23 05:37 PM

This is an awesome poem...it's too bad that you had to feel the pain of love..I am sure we all know what that's like and don't wish it upon any one..good poem it really makes you think!!!!
Jenn

**Hope is what Shields us from the harsh realities of life**

PoeTik JusTice
Member

since 2003-01-05

Posts 186
California, USA

11 posted 2003-03-24 01:58 PM

This was an amazing poem. I really enjoyed it! Love can sometimes just...suck! Well, great poem and good work.

XoXo Love Alwayz XoXo
*~Serena~*
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is to love, and be loved in return." --Moulin Rouge

pearl6884
Member

since 2003-03-23

Posts 72
California coast

12 posted 2003-03-25 01:03 PM

Isn't it a shame we can't hold on to the past and ignore the future? *applause*

*To see the world in a grain of sand, and heaven in a wild flower...Hold infinity in the palm of your hand and eternity in an hour...*
-Blake

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