This World That Dies - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Legallee Insane
New Member

since 2003-02-04

Posts 4

0 posted 2003-02-04 11:25 PM

I write this from my head, because my heart can't think. This is my prespective (a teen prespective) of what could be the result of Bush sending the world to war.

This World That Dies
In this world that dies
Where flowers cry
A place where hatred exists
And blood is part of the morning mist

I believe we will inevitable destroy
But we will be ignorant of consequence
Until the moment is upon us
And we are forced to accept responsibility
Responsible for our own deaths
Extinction brought about by our own hand
We will start will the best intentions
And in the end we will create....

A world that is dead
Where only flowers cry
A place where hatred no longers exists
And blood is forever part of the morning mist

chasing rain
Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 737
Canada

1 posted 2003-02-06 05:49 PM

Legallee Insane:

Didn't see you sneak into Teen until now. ^^ Must be blind.

But welcome to the Teen forum! Good to have you here!

I'm not too fond of Bush's idea of going to war on Iraq. Bah. First it's the War on Terrorism, which is getting us no where at the moment, and now, this. So, we will remember Shrub as the president of two pointless wars. Oh wonderful.

But on a lighter note, I liked how you snuck in a bit of rhyming at the beginning and progressed to freeverse, closing with a variation of the opening stanza. Solid closure is always good. Formatting is strong as well, esp. where you bolded certain words at the end. Liked that very much.

Hope to see more from you!

Leah

Spine Grinder
Senior Member

since 2000-10-28

Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

2 posted 2003-02-07 06:47 PM

i couldnt have said it better myself. this was great. thanks for sharing.

If You Wanna See A Rainbow, You've Gotta Live Through The Rain. And If You Wanna See Through Love, You've Gotta Live Through The Pain.

barbaraj
Member

since 2003-01-24

Posts 139
Nova Scotia, Canada

3 posted 2003-02-08 12:29 PM

thanks for sharing this wonderful poem.

~You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in people, than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you.~

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.