Teen Poetry #6 |
Do the lies hide the hurt? |
Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Do the lies hide the hurt? there's no disguise for hurt no camoflauge for broken hearts nothing to ease the pain when lies taste so bitter and silence is no better I know it's not polished but I needed to post something, because I just didn't feel like wearing a smile today. Andrew |
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© Copyright 2003 Andrew Sewell - All Rights Reserved | |||
Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
I know that feeling. *hug* The last two lines totally saved this. It's one of those subtle bam deals... ~Carly empty-armed and half a soul to go -el sol --Zwan [This message has been edited by Child of the Stars (02-03-2003 03:42 PM).] |
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Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
i totally agree with carly, thanks for the read. If You Wanna See A Rainbow, You've Gotta Live Through The Rain. And If You Wanna See Through Love, You've Gotta Live Through The Pain. |
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WindSong Member
since 2002-12-23
Posts 313Long Island, New York |
Very good. Short, very poetic. It's very true about lies and pain and stuff. I liked it a lot. very moving...It's alright when you don't want to wear a smile, almost everyday is like that for me. ~*~Kirah~*~ I lie all the time - infact Im lieing right now! |
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clve527 Member
since 2002-07-08
Posts 200 |
I think this could be polished using line breaks, punctuation, and maybe a little rewriting. Good though, I like where it is heading. Casey |
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skyshine
since 2002-02-07
Posts 3058Beneath the northern stars |
Well, it may not be polished, but I think it's pretty darn good the way it is. I liked this. P.S. I may borrow the title if that's ok with you. --Elizabeth You can sit there and forgive someone until the cows come home, and it won't make a bit of difference until they forgive themselves. |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
I know I should reply to this, but there's nothing to say :/ Lies hide the hurt for a while, but then it comes back three hundred-fold. Just don't move to run from your pain; that's the worst thing that could be done. |
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Eminem wanna be Member
since 2003-02-04
Posts 52Windsor, Missouri |
hey that was pretty good Eminem wanna be (Crystal) |
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Android 17
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664Winnipeg |
I'm with Carly on this one! Good job Zu---this is pure, honest and well...worth the read! Vekrdehk fyc dra uhmo drehk E fyc kuut yd...pid, yd maycd E ymfyoc vuikrd vun fryd E pameajat eh... |
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