Do the lies hide the hurt?

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Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

0 posted 2003-02-03 04:58 AM

Do the lies hide the hurt?

there's no disguise for hurt
no camoflauge for broken hearts
nothing to ease the pain
when lies taste so bitter
and silence is no better

I know it's not polished but I needed to post something, because I just didn't feel like wearing a smile today.

Andrew

My Violent Bedtime Stories

Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

1 posted 2003-02-03 03:42 PM

I know that feeling. *hug*

The last two lines totally saved this. It's one of those subtle bam deals...

  ~Carly

empty-armed
and half a soul to go
                     -el sol
                        --Zwan

[This message has been edited by Child of the Stars (02-03-2003 03:42 PM).]

Spine Grinder
Senior Member

since 2000-10-28

Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

2 posted 2003-02-03 08:05 PM

i totally agree with carly, thanks for the read.

If You Wanna See A Rainbow, You've Gotta Live Through The Rain. And If You Wanna See Through Love, You've Gotta Live Through The Pain.

WindSong
Member

since 2002-12-23

Posts 313
Long Island, New York

3 posted 2003-02-03 08:32 PM

Very good. Short, very poetic. It's very true about lies and pain and stuff. I liked it a lot. very moving...It's alright when you don't want to wear a smile, almost everyday is like that for me. ~*~Kirah~*~

I lie all the time - infact Im lieing right now!
Today is yesterdays tomorrow.

clve527
Member

since 2002-07-08

Posts 200

4 posted 2003-02-03 10:28 PM

I think this could be polished using line breaks, punctuation, and maybe a little rewriting. Good though, I like where it is heading.

Casey

skyshine

Member Elite

since 2002-02-07

Posts 3058
Beneath the northern stars

5 posted 2003-02-03 11:00 PM

Well, it may not be polished, but I think it's pretty darn good the way it is. I liked this.

P.S. I may borrow the title if that's ok with you.

--Elizabeth

You can sit there and forgive someone until the cows come home, and it won't make a bit of difference until they forgive themselves.

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

6 posted 2003-02-04 07:01 PM

I know I should reply to this, but there's nothing to say :/
Lies hide the hurt for a while, but then it comes back three hundred-fold. Just don't move to run from your pain; that's the worst thing that could be done.

Eminem wanna be
Member

since 2003-02-04

Posts 52
Windsor, Missouri

7 posted 2003-02-04 08:56 PM

hey that was pretty good

Eminem wanna be
(Crystal)

Android 17

Senior Member

since 2001-07-21

Posts 664
Winnipeg

8 posted 2003-02-06 05:09 PM

I'm with Carly on this one! Good job Zu---this is pure, honest and well...worth the read!

Vekrdehk fyc dra uhmo drehk E fyc kuut yd...pid, yd maycd E ymfyoc vuikrd vun fryd E pameajat eh...

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