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Teen Poetry #6
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Marshalzu
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0 posted 2003-02-03 04:58 AM


Do the lies hide the hurt?

there's no disguise for hurt
no camoflauge for broken hearts
nothing to ease the pain
when lies taste so bitter
and silence is no better


I know it's not polished but I needed to post something, because I just didn't feel like wearing a smile today.

Andrew

My Violent Bedtime Stories

© Copyright 2003 Andrew Sewell - All Rights Reserved
Child of the Stars
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1 posted 2003-02-03 03:42 PM


I know that feeling. *hug*

The last two lines totally saved this. It's one of those subtle bam deals...

  ~Carly

empty-armed
and half a soul to go
                     -el sol
                        --Zwan

[This message has been edited by Child of the Stars (02-03-2003 03:42 PM).]

Spine Grinder
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since 2000-10-28
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Standing In Silence...
2 posted 2003-02-03 08:05 PM


i totally agree with carly, thanks for the read.

If You Wanna See A Rainbow, You've Gotta Live Through The Rain. And If You Wanna See Through Love, You've Gotta Live Through The Pain.

WindSong
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since 2002-12-23
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Long Island, New York
3 posted 2003-02-03 08:32 PM


Very good. Short, very poetic. It's very true about lies and pain and stuff. I liked it a lot. very moving...It's alright when you don't want to wear a smile, almost everyday is like that for me. ~*~Kirah~*~

I lie all the time - infact Im lieing right now!
Today is yesterdays tomorrow.


clve527
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since 2002-07-08
Posts 200

4 posted 2003-02-03 10:28 PM


I think this could be polished using line breaks, punctuation, and maybe a little rewriting.  Good though, I like where it is heading.

Casey

skyshine
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5 posted 2003-02-03 11:00 PM


Well, it may not be polished, but I think it's pretty darn good the way it is. I liked this.

P.S. I may borrow the title if that's ok with you.

--Elizabeth

You can sit there and forgive someone until the cows come home, and it won't make a bit of difference until they forgive themselves.

Skyfire
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6 posted 2003-02-04 07:01 PM


I know I should reply to this, but there's nothing to say :/
Lies hide the hurt for a while, but then it comes back three hundred-fold. Just don't move to run from your pain; that's the worst thing that could be done.

Eminem wanna be
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since 2003-02-04
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7 posted 2003-02-04 08:56 PM


hey that was pretty good

Eminem wanna be
(Crystal)

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8 posted 2003-02-06 05:09 PM


I'm with Carly on this one! Good job Zu---this is pure, honest and well...worth the read!

Vekrdehk fyc dra uhmo drehk E fyc kuut yd...pid, yd maycd E ymfyoc vuikrd vun fryd E pameajat eh...

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