Teen Poetry #6 |
The Champion |
CloudedDreams Member
since 2002-11-23
Posts 210My Fantasy Realm |
The sun has risen on this weary day The comfort and shelter of night now fades The battle is close, the casualties high The light spreads across a bloodstained sky The people of the village have tried many have fought, countless have died The Dark Leader now closes in His mind focusung on the approaching win The villagers can no longer fight Too many have been lost the previous night It all seems as it is about to end The Dark Leader begins he descend,,, When a angered shout comes from nearby The dark leader gives a suprised cry There, standing in the way A single soldier from kingdoms away He carried a sword with a blue-black blade Which dripped the blood of the darkness he slain His eyes gleamed with bravery and pride And he tightened his grip on the shield by his side The dark lord sent the last soldiers of which he had They ran to attack, their eyes gleamed mad But all of them fell silently to the ground When the soldier swiftly swung his sword around The dark lord grew angry, face dripping with sweat The soldier killed the last of his regiment The final battle was to ensue Both were anticipating about what to do They sprinted forward in a maddened fury Testing skills, and swinging weapons rapidly Metal upon metal, each blow was swung Then from their grips, their swords were flung Once again they sprinted at full force The fighting and violence ran its course The soldier then proved he had won As he knocked down the Evil One A joyous cheer ran through the town The survivors gave their champion a crown But while the celebration had begun They didn't realize the battle was not yet done The Dark Leader opened swollen eye He had one more wish before he was to die He grabbed his sword and inched his way down the dusty path which led to the town He limped into the open gates Where the final victory awaits The sword swung as gasps went through the mass The Champion's victory did not last The sword cut deep into the champions side He fell down, and there he died The Leader fell laughing, he then too passed The war reached its bittersweet end at last The Angel of Death spread her blackened wings and brings peace to the soul of those mourning And as a single tear falls down her face She carries the Champions spirit to another place Never forget the pain others take Or the lives they give for our sake Remember to honor those who care For one day they may not be there Yes there will be tommorrow, but will you be there to greet it? |
||
© Copyright 2002 Eliza K. - All Rights Reserved | |||
HopelessRomanticGuy Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 495LI, New York |
Well, I won't have to sugar coat this: THIS WAS GREAT! I loved this poem and the way you write is so simple, yet so complex. If you keep writing like this, and talk to the right people, you just might make it to the top! And that victory won't be short lived! -Rich "You can't hurt meee!! 'Cause I've got on my cheeeeese helmet!" |
||
CloudedDreams Member
since 2002-11-23
Posts 210My Fantasy Realm |
::blushes:: aw..gosh.. that was the best remark I've ever gotten.... Thanks a lot! HAve a wonderful day Yes there will be tommorrow, but will you be there to greet it? |
||
Stinky Twinkie Member
since 2002-11-26
Posts 204Dinwiddie |
Whoa, that was fantabulistic. It sounded like a power metal song (if you're not familiar with this type of music, ask me about it and I'll reply with an answer)! The story was told very well and I didn't get bored while reading, like with most long poems. Great job, I'll give you an A. -Stinky Twinkie- |
||
CloudedDreams Member
since 2002-11-23
Posts 210My Fantasy Realm |
...power metal....? oh crap, this is my 100th post and I am wasting it by asking a stupid question...lol [This message has been edited by CloudedDreams (12-23-2002 11:17 AM).] |
||
roxywrestlegirl04 Member
since 2002-10-29
Posts 74good ole DINWIDDIE |
great job....as i read this...it literally (like a movie) played in my mind...i really like your style! LIZ live,love,and die...but take RISKS..thatz what makes life worth the living, love worth the heartache,and death the new beginning! |
||
Kellie_Cantrell Senior Member
since 2002-05-22
Posts 1667New York |
Very good. Lots of visuals from the battle field. I like this a lot. |
||
Rainbowdust Member
since 2002-12-05
Posts 320Sydney, Australia |
Very well written and thought out; I'm in awe! The soul would have no rainbows, had the eyes no tears. |
||
⇧ top of page ⇧ | ||
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |