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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

0 posted 2002-10-10 04:35 PM

I won't pretend
it doesn't hurt
to know I've given
you my all
and know that I
have come up short--
mere shadow
toeing
image tall...

How is it
there's so much of me--
unseen
as the sun rides the sky?
I watch you
tread too carefully--
there is no soft--
no more of me--
that can break our fall.

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

1 posted 2002-10-10 04:38 PM

hard to imagine you coming up short....

nicely written my friend and the pain perhaps behind it I hope find peace to also give it rest

brian sites
Senior Member

since 2002-06-25

Posts 1475
usa

2 posted 2002-10-10 05:03 PM

a plea
for movement
decision
change

there is nothing more
for you

you must SEE
now

very good, Karen
b

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant

since 2002-06-08

Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA

3 posted 2002-10-10 05:04 PM

Beautifully written Serenity

Cold hands means a warm heart

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

4 posted 2002-10-10 06:54 PM

The cheer up brigade has arrived!

Wha ... what?

I said cheer up, not stirrup! They don't even sound close! Get those horses out of here!

The ch --- THE CHEER UP! NOT THE CHAIR UP! PUT ME DOWN!

No! I don't want a cherry!

No! Not 7-up!

The Chee.... NO CHEESE!!!!

Oh, forget it!

regards2you
Member Elite

since 2002-10-01

Posts 3940
California

5 posted 2002-10-10 09:35 PM

This piece is so well done, I feel guilty for have enjoyed it so much.

If you are writing about yourself my heart goes out to you. God Bless....

Warmly,
Pat

without surrender, be on good terms with all persons...

Nightshade

Member Patricius

since 2001-08-31

Posts 13962
just out of reach

6 posted 2002-10-10 09:43 PM

I watch you
tread too carefully--
there is no soft--
no more of me--
that can break our fall.

Serenity - I have been there too. My wish for you is that one day YOU will have a "soft place to fall" and loving arms to lift you up. Very well written. Chris

Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

7 posted 2002-10-10 09:43 PM

there is no soft--
no more of me--
that can break our fall.
------------------------------------------
Excellent write here Karen!
~Hugs~

~ Time has cast a spell on you
So you won't ever forget me ~

Miah
Senior Member

since 2002-08-26

Posts 1062
Pennsylvania

8 posted 2002-10-10 11:07 PM

Great poem. very sad.

wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

9 posted 2002-10-10 11:52 PM

Great write, witch
But I believe, that it depends on who takes the inventory.

~Ed

Auguste

Member Elite

since 2000-02-16

Posts 3953
By the sea

10 posted 2002-10-11 12:57 PM

Superb!

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

11 posted 2002-10-11 06:01 PM

Thanks all--there's a certain someone who has me playing with my um--words again...

shadow's peak or shadow speaks...I couldn't decide so I stuck 'em together--thought I'd leave it up to you all.
Thank you all so much!

Radrook
Senior Member

since 2002-08-09

Posts 648

12 posted 2002-10-12 08:00 PM

Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket save it for a rainy day!

Cheers!

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

13 posted 2002-12-30 03:19 PM

damn! How do you write me like that?

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