Don't fart at the dinner table

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Auguste

Member Elite

since 2000-02-16

Posts 3953
By the sea

0 posted 2002-10-09 03:49 PM

Don't fart at the dinner table!
I thought I raised you right.
You're now a teen, say you're too old
to get a kiss goodnight.

You want allowance, but don't earn,
then cop an attitude.
Don't make that sound with your armpit.
I find it very crude.

Your room's a pig pen, clean it up.
How can you live this way?
I hear you mutter under breath.
You got something to say?

You're fourteen and almost my height,
but you can't take me on.
You'd best behave, not raise your voice.
Please trust me, you're not grown.

I sometimes wonder, you have worms?
How can you eat so much?
I see you checking out the girls.
May look, but please don't touch.

It's hell to raise a teenager,
but even so, it's fun.
Although he thinks he knows it all,
he's really a great son.

He is the very air I breathe,
the heartbeat in my chest.
We will survive the teenage years.
My son, you are the best.

(For my son, Chris. I dearly love you)

[This message has been edited by Auguste (10-09-2002 03:52 PM).]

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

1 posted 2002-10-09 03:53 PM

Michael, as cute and tongue-in-cheek as this is..
I know how very much you love your son Chris..
And this is all said in fun...
Thanks for the chuckles this afternoon.
~Hugs~

~ Time has cast a spell on you
So you won't ever forget me ~

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-05

Posts 8296
Michigan

2 posted 2002-10-09 04:07 PM

This is precious, Michael....
My kids used to do that armpit thing also...
Isn't it fun to have a teenager around the house?

~ hugs from a chipmunk mom

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled" Gwendolyn Brooks

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant

since 2002-06-08

Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA

3 posted 2002-10-09 04:15 PM

This is so sweet. Funny at the same time too.

Cold hands means a warm heart

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

4 posted 2002-10-09 04:50 PM

Excellent!
Wow, can I relate...raised 3 sons just over the hump...there is light.
Enjoyed. ThisDiamond

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

5 posted 2002-10-09 04:53 PM

Aren't there cultures where it is the thing
to do at the table?  (kidding)....

Michael...I have been through this once...

And I have it to look forward to twice more.
UGGGGh!  I know what you are enduring...and
yes,  they are still the best...even though
sometimes they can be the worst...

Thanx for this reminder...

Barry

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

6 posted 2002-10-09 05:06 PM

ROFL... this is hilarious, and at the same time, touching... leaves me wanting to go Awwwwwwww. *S* Well done, Auguste... and just remember parents everywhere are surviving the same antics. LOL

regards2you
Member Elite

since 2002-10-01

Posts 3940
California

7 posted 2002-10-09 05:20 PM

This is fabulous. I have tears in my eyes from ~laughing!~ This is great.

"I sometimes wonder, you have worms"

Oh, too cool. Thanks for capturing this moment in time, I forgot what it was like.

without surrender, be on good terms with all persons...

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

8 posted 2002-10-09 05:25 PM

Hheheh so much I have to look forward to.. can't wait

My son has already begun the fart business (he seems to be fascinated by them) he is only 9, sheeesh wonder how it'll be when he is 14 eeek.

I really enjoyed this Auguste, so very beautiful... really.

Maree

Tiersdin
Member Elite

since 2000-11-17

Posts 2364
east coast

9 posted 2002-10-09 05:47 PM

You've described the hassle and love of raising a teenager superbly...

wonderful poem, Michael
~Tier

"I shall never bond again, as I have bonded with you..."

Toerag
Member Ascendant

since 1999-07-29

Posts 5622
Ala bam a

10 posted 2002-10-09 05:51 PM

That does bring a whole new meaning to "You are the air I breathe" however....LOL...this is great Auguste...

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

11 posted 2002-10-09 06:07 PM

You know your son is a great kid....

and yes, teens are fun...very trying, but that is what they are supposed to do (to a point)

enjoyed this and laughed like a loon when I saw the title.....

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

12 posted 2002-10-09 06:59 PM

(big hugggssssss) Oh Michael, this is sooooooo funny and beautiful, sweet friend, Chris and you both have true golden hearts and I know he will always be blessed to have a golden-hearted dad...you! God Bless You, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Michael, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Nan

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-20

Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

13 posted 2002-10-09 08:13 PM

ROTFLMBO... I had girls - I don't recall all that much farting at the dinner table - But they did their share of BURPING!!!... and they're still the air I breathe... Well said, sir..

Nightshade

Member Patricius

since 2001-08-31

Posts 13962
just out of reach

14 posted 2002-10-09 08:22 PM

Michael - teens....ya gotta love em'.....after all...we were their age once....a once upon a time ago. hugs, Chris

Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away.

[This message has been edited by Nightshade (10-09-2002 08:22 PM).]

Auguste

Member Elite

since 2000-02-16

Posts 3953
By the sea

15 posted 2002-10-09 09:19 PM

Nancy,
Yes, only having a little fun. LOL!  Thank, sweetie! *hugs*

Lyra,
Yes, a teenager around the house sure keeps things stirred up. LOL!  They have so much energy and curiousity.  Chris is a great child.  I couldn't have asked for a better son.  Thank you and *hugs* back to you.

Linda,
Thank, I'm glad you enjoyed this.

ThisDiamond,
You raised three?  Yikes!  LOL!  Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed.

Barry,
Heck, I hope there aren't. LOL!  Good luck on the two left and thanks!

suthern,
Hey, nice to know I'm not in this alone.  I'm glad I gave you a smile.  Thank you!

regards2you,
This kid seems to always be eating.  Hey, maybe he really does have worms. LOL!  Love knowing I gave you a laugh.  Thanks!

Maree,
On my, already and only 9.  Looks like you're gonna have your hands full by the time he's 14.  LOL!  Thank you for the nice words.

Tier,
Yeah, they can be a pain at time, but are well worth every bit of it.  Children are wonderful!  Thank you!

Toerag,
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwe...Thanks!  LOL

Susan,
It brings me a smile knowing that this brought you a laugh.  Thanks, sweetie.  *hugs*  And yeah, teens are pretty cool.

Noah,
You're always so kind and I truly appreciate you reading.  Thank you much!

Nan,
Since boys tend to be a little more disgusting, LOL, I guess that's why girls choose burping.  It's more lady-like. LOL  Thanks!

Chris,
I was NEVER a teen...it's true, I promise.

Thanks for reading. *hugs* back

The stars will shine when I am gone,
the earth will turn on as before,
the gulls, still race along the shore,
the morning star, still kiss the dawn

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

16 posted 2002-10-09 10:30 PM

I love humorous poems on family life. They are so real and nearly everyone can identify
with some aspects of them. This was wonderfully charming and heart-warming!

Linda

Bill Charles
Member Patricius

since 2000-07-11

Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now

17 posted 2002-10-09 10:36 PM

Auguste - a very nice write for your son. I do remember those days, but he turned out just fine. Sometimes I did wonder though...

BC

Tammy Blessing
Member

since 2002-08-26

Posts 366
PA

18 posted 2002-10-09 10:37 PM

This is just Sooo cute, I had to reply. Thankfully I have a girl whose only 11 but I can relate already to the "you got worms" and "got something to say" thing. Thanks for the laugh, it shows how well your surviving it all. Hope I can still laugh when I'm going through it.
Tammy

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

19 posted 2002-10-10 02:27 AM

Michael, this was funny. I like your humor. Your son sounds like a great kid. Thanks for the laughs.

Love To All,
Ethel

[This message has been edited by garysgirl (10-10-2002 02:29 AM).]

Auguste

Member Elite

since 2000-02-16

Posts 3953
By the sea

20 posted 2002-10-11 01:09 AM

Linda, Bill, Tammy & Ethel, thank you dearly for your replies. I so appreciate you reading me and am happy to bring each of you a smile...aren't smiles cool?

Thanks, y'all!

The stars will shine when I am gone,
the earth will turn on as before,
the gulls, still race along the shore,
the morning star, still kiss the dawn

Radrook
Senior Member

since 2002-08-09

Posts 648

21 posted 2002-10-12 04:58 PM

Don't fart at the dinner table!
I thought I raised you right.
You're now a teen, say you're too old
to get a kiss goodnight.

Pure artistry!

[This message has been edited by Radrook (10-12-2002 07:26 PM).]

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

22 posted 2002-10-12 10:01 PM

LOL at this one, Michael. I can picture chris doing what you described. After all, I have the almost-fifteen girl counterpart. I bought a small Black and Decker Dirt Buster vaccuum today though, and had her assemble it. Now she gets to try it out. SMILE.
Maybe she will do the cleaning from now on?

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

23 posted 2002-10-15 07:33 PM

Michael

You gotta know I understand this after my two boys...not to mention husbands.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

24 posted 2002-12-30 03:19 PM

hehehe...thanks for this one! I know I'm not alone!

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