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Open Poetry #22
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BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside

0 posted 2002-09-28 03:44 AM


I don't want more than you've given me
for we wouldn't be what we've become
even if we'd had a chance.

I find solace in the free reign falling at my feet
it is there I take refuge when the thunder claps
breaking through the clouds
caught up in a jet stream.

You are the whole of a lightning storm striking me;
arranging the pieces of my heart
quieting my fears that torment me in the darkness.

I often waver in the moment
and the residue left behind,
like the calm that lingers after a storm
hanging in the breeze.

The sun promises so much
but if it doesn't shine tomorrow
I want to believe you'll still be there
when I'm teetering beside myself,
rolling in with the fog between heaven and earth.

You're the hollow sound echoing in my private chambers,
a constant beat keeping rhythm with the songs that I sing,
playing me in the wind like no other
slow dancing outside in the rain.

Yet I'm not cold or unsung without you
you're my mercury rising to some degree
and I've taken care to arrange you in keeping
in that place where you've touched me so carefully.

You're the warming trend I wrote of in the beginning.
Since then I've learned to adjust to the changing temperatures,
that there is no predicting the forecast
and fate is it's own meter reading.

*~*

(reworked from my very first post at passions in the dark poetry forum.  Maybe it wasn't so dark after all, once I saw the light)  

[This message has been edited by BluesSerenade (09-28-2002 04:22 AM).]

© Copyright 2002 BluesSerenade - All Rights Reserved
Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
1 posted 2002-09-28 09:58 AM


To the top with wonderful and indepth work.
enjoyed

"two hearts will build the foundation for one point of light
a duet done with passion"

excerpt from "I Love You"

SmartChick
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown
2 posted 2002-09-28 10:02 AM


Very nice!
Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
3 posted 2002-09-28 11:00 AM


Lori,
You connect so well with your life experience. I love reading your thoughts. An awesome rework. Yup, not so dark. Bless you friend.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
4 posted 2002-09-28 12:28 PM


I love it! The music flows in this piece, a wonderful tune of Life. Not at all dark!
thanks for the rewrite and for sharing it.

came back to fix a typo this keyboard made

[This message has been edited by Midnitesun (09-28-2002 12:29 PM).]

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
5 posted 2002-09-28 01:05 PM


BluesSerenade - glad the light shined upon you, may it forever be there...

BC

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
6 posted 2002-09-28 07:42 PM




(smiles) Oh Lori, I too think this isn't dark at all, it is bittersweet but I know as long as you ignore the forecast ahead and enjoy the now and believe in love with your heart you will live happily ever after! (kiss on cheek) This is wonderful, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Lori, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Greeneyes
Deputy Moderator 50 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
7 posted 2002-09-29 11:32 AM


Hugsssss you, this is ever so lovely...with your style and charm.....
Lauren~

I need some distraction
...oh beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins

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