the misinterpretation of my belly

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Alicia
Member

since 2002-03-22

Posts 279

0 posted 2002-09-19 02:39 PM

He listened ear to abdomen
to the frightened squeals
drowning in the acids of my stomach
and took them for hunger
for it being Saturday
and six o’clock
he took them for tomorrow
breaching early
when they were dreams really
balled naked and sharing
big black suburbans crashing water
crashing sin - and me
pleading for my country
for the sand and lungs
of every human being
they were the horrors
of storming a beach
without any ammunition
without the heavy artillery
cramming my sides
my ribcage crying.
He listened to the bees in my bones
the sting of reality blazing
the bite of the inevitable throbbing through
and he took them for tired
for it being Saturday
and six o’clock
he took them for aging
for premature decline
when they were dreams really
rolled open and showing
flayed flat for his taking
and me - pleading for my secrets
for the understanding in every crease
and they were the circumstances
of war in a family
war in a world of power
of weapons of wishing
and sin.

Oh my bones
and the squeals of my stomach
how they are half read and failing.

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

1 posted 2002-09-19 02:49 PM

Exceptional write.
This piece brought a shiver through me, that did not seem happy...a queer and throbbing fear. Very powerful. ThisDiamond

Interloper

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-06

Posts 8369
Deep in the heart

2 posted 2002-09-19 02:49 PM

I really don't know how best to respond to this piece. I like the images you draw for us but I feel uneasy. Maybe that's what you want conveyed.

I feel raw nerves and angst.

Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

3 posted 2002-09-19 02:51 PM

"He listened to the bees in my bones"

Alica--you are incredible.

Every line in this stands alone as a poem--each an entity unto itself yet contributing and supporting, sustaining the whole. Much like a living organism...*shaking me head*

Amazing you.

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

4 posted 2002-09-19 02:58 PM

Alicia

You always amaze me with the words you find under the skin, deep and callused and true.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

5 posted 2002-09-19 03:00 PM

This poem deserves more than just a cursory glance for sure. The more I read it, the more I glean from it. Very deep, somewhat disturbing, but an exceptional piece of writing.

~ may the sun drive away the dark clouds ~
Earth Angel

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

6 posted 2002-09-19 05:58 PM

He listened to the bees in my bones
the sting of reality blazing
the bite of the inevitable throbbing through
and he took them for tired

God Alicia, you are amazing. waiting for the next one hon

Moonlight Romeo

Senior Member

since 2001-09-10

Posts 982
The heart of you

7 posted 2002-09-20 12:26 PM

Plathian in its ideas, and yet, it speaks of other things, other ideas, other times.

Thank you.

What light through yon window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

8 posted 2002-09-20 12:33 PM

he took them for aging
for premature decline
when they were dreams really
rolled open and showing
flayed flat for his taking
and me - pleading for my secrets
for the understanding in every crease
and they were the circumstances
of war in a family
war in a world of power
of weapons of wishing
and sin.
This whole piece..is a brilliant expression of abstract imagery blended with the concrete... the lines above, truck me as most poignent in that they scream for understanding and for intimacy of the mind and body... I know they may well not have been intended to do that...yet convey it in a very powerful way when I read them...

Love the layers in this... love the way you made me feel the emotions...

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

9 posted 2002-09-22 11:27 PM

ok. . . why is this back here????

this needs to be read more. . . by everyone. . .

you know what I'm going to say. . . so, peace you. . . be well. . .

-----------------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

10 posted 2002-09-23 11:38 AM

Oh Sheesh...what everyone said above, and then...

~ViXeN~
Member

since 2000-01-09

Posts 93
Guelph, Ont. Canada

11 posted 2002-09-23 11:39 AM

"He listened to the bees in my bones
the sting of reality blazing"...

wow. Im speechless.
Excellent.

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant

since 2002-06-08

Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA

12 posted 2002-09-23 11:41 AM

Awesome write

Cold hands means a warm heart

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

13 posted 2002-09-23 11:47 AM

I felt the screams within this one, Alicia, and heard the bees.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

14 posted 2002-09-23 01:32 PM

THIS is brilliant!!!

brian madden
Member Elite

since 2000-05-06

Posts 4374
ireland

15 posted 2002-09-23 01:50 PM

crashing sin - and me
pleading for my country
for the sand and lungs
of every human being
they were the horrors
of storming a beach
without any ammunition
without the heavy artillery
cramming my sides

Alicia, your words always captivate and stay with me long after the read. A powerful poem that demands more than one read.

Too early for the rainbow, too early for the dove These are the final days, this is the darkness, this is the flood
L cohen

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