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i qot soul
New Member

since 2002-09-16

Posts 5
the problem state

0 posted 2002-09-16 02:49 PM

As I awake with morning breathe so over powering and crust so thick in my mysterious eyes, I see the world for the very first time. I slide myself out of my well-worn bed and into a well warm shower. Just a scrubbin and a dubbin with an intimate joy. Lathering my whole body with sheer tenderness and trust, then thoughts of you.
I waltz down the stairs and into the kitchen as my ma has prepared an oh so handsome feast of scrambled eggs, hash browns, bacon, toast complete with thoughts of you.
I kiss her goodbye as I set fourth my venture out into the world.
On the train I’m sittin next to a dark, brave, true brotha with a little baby girl.
Her curious large, dark brown eyes, Her radiant, bold, courageous smile, her glorified, curly black hair.
Reminded me of myself always observing the world around me.
In a way me and baby girl were one in the same.
Took my first step off the train and precious baby girl smiled at me.
Right then and there popped up thoughts of you.
Walking out into the bright, life-like, controversial streets on New York City was enough to make me feel blessed.
Sounds of intellect, ignorance, cruelty, and obscenity fill my current atmosphere and state of mind with thoughts of you.
Scooping, Seeking, Searching as I come across the decadent emerald trees with a hint of gold trailing at the bottom.
The fuchsia and amber colored flowers in the natural, earthy deep brown with a power greater than anything in this world, they both move in a pitter- patter, tick-tock motion with the inconsistent wind.
As thoughts of you arise to me. How you talk of dreams about us watching the sunrise with out a care in the world.
How you would lift me up when I was way down low.
You always let me know that you cared; you were always the only one there.
You know me the most, even better than I know myself.
For you are not a person but a definite, everlasting part of me and forever strong, you are forever sexy, confident, beautiful, fierce, trite and true.
For you are my soul and I would be forever astray without you.

you are braindead

[This message has been edited by i qot soul (09-16-2002 03:03 PM).]

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant

since 2002-06-08

Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA

1 posted 2002-09-16 03:01 PM

This is good. But might be easier to read if you didn't bunch all the sentences together

Cold hands means a warm heart

i qot soul
New Member

since 2002-09-16

Posts 5
the problem state

2 posted 2002-09-16 03:04 PM

thanks for the comment, and sorry for the clutter... its fixed

you are braindead

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

3 posted 2002-09-16 03:42 PM

"You always let me know that you cared; you were always the only one there.
You know me the most, even better than I know myself.
For you are not a person but a definite, everlasting part of me and forever strong, you are forever sexy, confident, beautiful, fierce, trite and true.
For you are my soul and I would be forever astray without you."

BRAVO!!! oh my gosh, this is such a beautifully sensitive and romantic debut, sweet friend, I too love Julie's advice for you too but this is wonderful, I LOVE IT!!! Welcome to Passions, sweet Na'ima, may you be inspired by all of us here as we will all be inspired by your lovely words! I can't wait to read more of your lovely words, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

[This message has been edited by Mistletoe Angel (09-16-2002 03:43 PM).]

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

4 posted 2002-09-16 03:47 PM

Outstanding!
Welcome. And yes, you got soul. this piece is full of emotion and...soul.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

5 posted 2002-09-16 04:18 PM

Welcome to Passions! Please, check your E-mail for a Special Greeting!

Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound

i qot soul
New Member

since 2002-09-16

Posts 5
the problem state

6 posted 2002-09-16 04:51 PM

thank you for welcoming me i actually wrote this because i love my soul so much and im gonna share it at the open mic night next saturday. Im glad i can inspire you and i hope your work will inspire me thankyou so much for the welcome i hope passions will be my second home.

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