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Open Poetry #22
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alarms, but no surprises
| Open Poetry #22 |
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alarms, but no surprises |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium 
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each day begins by waking up to the buzzer only to find an unused pillow next to me where your soft hair once used to be lying curled veiling a smile and house plants, once green are turning grey shedding leaves like aging man’s hair and their roots are thirsting: hanging on, lingeringly in an endless await each day passes with that extra bit of uncoiling the past into the future and the reverse hand-in-hand -- both hands mine -- clenched tight holding a fist full of empty air and each day ends in grabbing arms of a black night almost moonless where the form, once sturdy is now bowing down to fatigue relenting almost resigning (the next day would then begin with alarms but no surprises) [This message has been edited by Sudhir Iyer (09-09-2002 10:45 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Sudhir Iyer - All Rights Reserved | |||
Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
Fantastic! I love it my friend  Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Wow !! This is one wonderful piece of writing. Enjoyed. Chris Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away. |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
this scrapes the heart and just inside the chest, masterly done display of agony/loss Fantastic, Sudhir. You are an amazing writer! is there a word missing in this line, though? "and the in reverse" Whether on the shoal or on the shore, |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
With this piece of writing, you lay yourself wide open and pour your heart out to your "viewers". On reading your words, I feel such lonliness---such longing. You've drawn me into your pain (if it's you to whom you are referring). You are a very talented writer. Earth Angel |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Thank you all so very much... and Virginia... there was a word too much in the line... thanks for pointing it out... I should learn to atleast re-read what I write... Regards to all, sudhir |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggssssss) Oh Sudhir, I understand this feeling, it's as though we are saddened that what we felt we just had and now is lost is alarming as though you can't believe it but you knew it already and that is an ching feeling! (sigh) You are a terrific writer with a golden heart, sweet friend, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Sudhir, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Heart beats were felt in this one, Sudhir. Excellent write of love lost. |
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juliet_2u Senior Member
since 2000-07-23
Posts 1125North Carolina |
Oh Sudhir what saddnes I read in this.I could so relate to these pain filled words. Such a pleasure to pop in and get to read your lovely work. Hugs, Juls |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
Oh what a masterful piece of work, Sudhir... Sometimes, heartbreak leads to the best poetry.  ~ chipmunk hugsLyra |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
I loved this, Sudhir. Motion Picture Soundtrack and all.  Mike |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Great title, fantastic poem, just what I expected from you Sudi I enjoyed Maree. |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Many thanks, my dear friends... for coming by to read... and leave behind such nice responses... Regards, Sudhir |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
each day passes with that extra bit of uncoiling the past into the future and the reverse hand-in-hand -- both hands mine -- clenched tight holding a fist full of empty air I must say...since I have read you here the structure and content of your poems has fascinated me... these lines...stand out to me in this one. Truly enjoyed..and truly well done. |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
Great write bud....been there, had these same feelings.....(after she'd been gone a week it got worse, I looked in the 'fridge' and there was only a very old loaf of green looking bread and one beer left).....you're a talented writer.....enjoyed |
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Thomas119gold Senior Member
since 2002-06-03
Posts 708Biloxi, MS (city by the sea) |
I really enjoyed this writing It holds so much in its depths when you read it Great job Thomas |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Thank you very much, Ron... Toe... and Thomas... for coming by and responding ever so kindly... regards, sudhir |
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EarthenSoul Member
since 2002-05-30
Posts 163WA, USA |
Longing for love lost. A masterpiece, Sir! |
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Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA |
how did I pass up such a gem of a poem!? dang Im sorry I'm always the last one..hehe..methinks its beautiful and what perfect timing to read it other than in the frame of mind im in atm...Enjoyed nonetheless.. Kristen If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried. |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
EarthernSoul, Kristen... Thank you both, very much for coming by and leaving behind wonderful footprints of kindness... Regards, Sudhir |
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