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Open Poetry #21
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Zinsser
Senior Member
since 2001-02-27
Posts 1641
Calif.

0 posted 2002-08-12 11:58 AM



candles light
flower filled room
hand picked by each
special wish upon
petal and stem
the aging storm
of wind and sand
still ever hoping
to destroy them

wind chimes music
magical kisses
have once again
sealed their love
entwined fingers
through dragons
breath they run
snuggled bodies
fitting like a glove

the storm never
tearing them
apart
though close
with spells cast
webs woven
shadowing minds
just for a time
they forgot
home is to
follow the heart


© Copyright 2002 Connie McDonald - All Rights Reserved
Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
1 posted 2002-08-12 01:47 PM


Candlelight and flower filled rooms spark thoughts of funerals to me,
Perhaps I’ve just been to too many of late,
Perhaps I grow too close to my own,
Perhaps I look forward to death’s date,
To lay down to never have to roam,
But I digress;
Not sure if you are mixing the metaphors or not
When you introduce wind and sand,
But since I just watched Lawrence of Arabia the other night,
It fits my general mood.
Now the Dragons breath, that’s a mix.
Could have been morning’s breath, or something,
Dragons seem a touch too powerful here,
Angels breath would give a more snuggle image,
But perhaps you like scales.
Now the last stanza, only comment
Nice, yes too often forgotten
I liked it

Gloom

Zinsser
Senior Member
since 2001-02-27
Posts 1641
Calif.
2 posted 2002-08-13 02:30 AM


I am so happy this got you to thinking and wondering  LOL ....
I hold your opinion very high.....
~~ Connie ~~

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