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nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

0 posted 2002-07-30 08:54 AM

Close Yet So Far

To be freed from this prison,
not controlled from without,
from the storm that keeps reigning
the subject, in doubt.

Unrestricted in thought,
not literal or exact,
freedom to feel,
to love, to react.

I'm stumbling through life
in this summer of heat.
Numb from the moments,
serenity's defeat.

Feeling pushed, urged and pressured,
an effort towards end.
Impelled to survive,
I'm combining to blend
my past with a present,
my hopes to ascend
to a clearness of vision,
to a future, in mend.

Each day brings me closer,
behind me, the pain,
Rebuffed, I relinquish,
fend off to regain
my stature of value,
my character in name,
to stand up for myself,
and move forward, my aim.

Freed and dismantled,
my wishes this time
as I take each step further
and rise in this climb.

M

"Love is not blind - It sees more and not less, but because it sees more, it is willing to see less."
(Will Moss)

[This message has been edited by nakdthoughts (07-30-2002 09:06 AM).]

Opeth
Senior Member

since 2001-12-13

Posts 1543
The Ravines

1 posted 2002-07-30 09:04 AM

excellent rhythm & rhyming cadence, the title fits perfectly with the narrative, each stanza flowed into the next, not only seemlessly, but meaningly too.

Well done.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

2 posted 2002-07-30 09:10 AM

Thank you O, I was feeling kind of anxious yesterday, between that and the 100 degree heat, my brain didn't want to complete the poem until today...sure is tough when you realize you have been standing still too long...

M

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

3 posted 2002-07-30 09:57 AM

very fine! especially love the line:

"Freed and dismantled"

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

Kethry
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-29

Posts 9082
Victoria Australia

4 posted 2002-07-30 10:23 AM

fine sentiments M and outstanding poetry.
Keth

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown

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