Join the sky (answer to my laughing floor challenge)

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bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

0 posted 2002-07-25 04:27 PM

Each tumbled word was a gem,
a piece of stony light.
Fallen from her morning.
Did they hold sky's thumbprints?
Opaque eyes on the path.
They flashed like colored glass.

Each tumbled word was smoky rose
she lifted from the laughing floor.
We rolled along that joyline's edge
among its crying glass.
I picked a flower from our hearts
before it went aflame within.

Her tumbled words are cooling brew,
yet coffee somehow warmed along.
I taste her teeth on back of mine
and wondered how the spoon will fall.
Into the sugar on the counter?
To the path for treeshadows' touch?

Among those eyes, a silver scoop
to sift the stones into my hand.
Polished then, into the light.
Lift them up to join the sun.
Lift them higher to sky's page
and let the clouds read all your gems.

She said burn ... together.
-TON

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

1 posted 2002-07-25 04:47 PM

Each tumbled word was a gem,
a piece of stony light.
Fallen from her morning.
Did they hold sky's thumbprints?
Opaque eyes on the path.
They flashed like colored glass.

Each tumbled word was smoky rose
she lifted from the laughing floor.
We rolled along that joyline's edge
among its crying glass.
I picked a flower from our hearts
before it went aflame within.
=====================================

This poem is more amazing than most will see.
Your poetry is like the colored glass and stones you write of...each word unique, smooth, cool, and beautiful.
You rock poet Mike...everytime you pick up your pen...you rock and it rolls us.

Anvrill
Senior Member

since 2002-06-21

Posts 710
in the interzone now

2 posted 2002-07-25 04:47 PM

You didn't include the words from that other phone call that I made you write down.

Still great. You have the trippiest, coolest mind.

I love you.

Eroti-goth th' fisherman.

written in blood before everything went black

JCV

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant

since 2002-06-08

Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA

3 posted 2002-07-25 05:08 PM

This was very cool

Cold hands means a warm heart

PoetryIsLife

Senior Member

since 2001-10-27

Posts 1763
...in my boxers...

4 posted 2002-07-25 05:23 PM

"You rock poet Mike"

Well put.

A kick-arse poem here. Beautiful words, beautiful imagery, nice meter and length. All of it. Kick-arse, Mikey.

By the way, pukka new pic. Tight necklace and hat.

Sincerely,
Titus

"They say that a hero can save us. I'm not gonna stand here and wait..."

-Chad Kroger

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

5 posted 2002-07-25 05:26 PM

BSQ
you are aged wine
in a cool new bottle
primo stuff sir!!!

sodpossom
Senior Member

since 2001-06-15

Posts 723
N.C

6 posted 2002-07-25 05:36 PM

Very well done!

Anvrill
Senior Member

since 2002-06-21

Posts 710
in the interzone now

7 posted 2002-07-25 05:53 PM

Mikhail... If you're wine, do I hafta give you up to stay straightedge?

Okay, that was mean.

*kiss*

Love you.

written in blood before everything went black

JCV

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

8 posted 2002-07-25 05:58 PM

Butterfly Slippers,
Thank you. Yr words make me smile.

Lori -- at work, don't have th' paper.

And it's sorta similar, just not as rhyme-y and more spread out.

Thanks, tl23.

Titus, we're allowed to say "arse" on PIP?

Glad y' enjoyed.

DS, thank you! I always appreciate yr view on things.

sodpossom:

Lori again: Hi.

Love you too. :kiss back:

She said burn ... together.
-TON

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

9 posted 2002-07-25 06:22 PM

This is some awesome squirrel meat!

grinning, actually, if one were to read you literally? You always lean to surreal. But?
I have always tended to see simply unique metaphor and illustrative concept. (But then, I am a poor judge of surrealism--in my world, watches actually melt!)

(AND YES...I'm thinking on this one)

and finally, would not call this surreal, but SUBLIME.

devina
Member Elite

since 1999-10-28

Posts 3539
Cali

10 posted 2002-07-25 08:59 PM

You keep a momma on her toes with these challenges...*one of these days* I might just (not) do it...grins

but as always...sigh...a slave to the poetic grind...off I go in search of worthliness to press on paper...

and this? was quite a *nutty* gem...you have some awful purdy lines here...but? I'm sure you are quite awares!!

take care you *nut*
~former *nut* in rehab (with a stash) wink**

Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...

brian sites
Senior Member

since 2002-06-25

Posts 1475
usa

11 posted 2002-07-25 11:18 PM

oh my god
hey, will some moderator please remove
my "challenged" piece of "stuff"?
wow
bsquirrel sir?
another cup of coffee?
brilliant...
BS.

I never aimed at reality; I aimed at truth. --Orson Welles

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

12 posted 2002-07-25 11:29 PM

FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!!

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

13 posted 2002-07-26 11:54 AM

Thanks everyone. And yes, I realize it's not very surreal.

I failed my own challenge. Heh heh.

Mikey

She said burn ... together.
-TON

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