Open Poetry #21 |
Light colors on Silk |
Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
{Beautiful vacancy, of one still moment} We have moved into history a river, slowed by many bends I gathered to renew at the edge So I held my arms up -- my palms extending upward too feel the sweet memory of you bestow so softly {so softly love} upon my eyes, and body Your hands, found my journals, my letters-- boxes of gentle tears silk and color {“Don’t be afraid to cry and watch me sleep”} Your whisper -- surrounded my shoulders in a shroud of light I need to touch, that point -- where reflection, and body join All day heavy rain -- I wanted to walk at midnight stare among and with the full moon -- watch shadows dance beneath me I seek your face, for my fingers to trace the outline of your lips how erotic my naked words, you, the words, between the words leaving me with sad eyes I have faced that demon, more then once, more then twice— How long I stood between worlds waiting, waiting {counting the moments, the hours} Wild storms moved forth I felt no release, I felt no rest— Should I write of this now? or wait until first snowfall, when skies are gray, bursting with cold ice I wonder what waits hidden - from what my eyes might see wicks of candles melting slowly — {in the notebook I scribble only words} Deep within the mystic green my fingers recall the color of your smile Silk, with touch The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds strewn across a blue blanket I lean against the wind pretend I am weightless and in this moment I am happy [This message has been edited by Greeneyes (07-24-2002 01:15 AM).] |
||
© Copyright 2002 Lauren~ - All Rights Reserved | |||
Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(smiles) Awwwwwww, this is soooooo beautifully sensual, sweet friend, I love the silkened beauty of this, this made me smile, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Lauren, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
||
Elizabeth Cor Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879Over the river and through the woods |
We have moved into history a river, slowed by many bends I gathered to renew at the edge I need to touch, that point -- where reflection, and body join how erotic my naked words, you, the words, between the words my fingers recall the color of your smile Silk, with touch ~~~ sigh... what ache with light and color you craft... I like this one, Lauren. I don't know if it's a criticism... but your poems seem to unravel... like beginning with a solid image on tapestry and then pulling the thread... so the end is a tangle of beautiful colors, but something almost uncertain... material but vague, and losing pattern... just something to think on, and possibly not agree with lol... thanks for this. |
||
Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
So I held my arms up -- my palms extending upward too feel the sweet memory of you bestow so softly {so softly love} upon my eyes, and body Your hands, found my journals, my letters-- boxes of gentle tears silk and color {“Don’t be afraid to cry and watch me sleep”} Lauren your words are like silk, wrapping us in your thoughts comforting us with your heart. Loved it lady. Enjoy life, this is NOT a dress rehearsal. |
||
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
{“Don’t be afraid to cry and watch me sleep”} I love the implied plea of an invitation of just dropping the farce here. The structure was pretty. Reads like fingers circling on my back....wow. |
||
Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
You have a style all your own that just has this inviting softness to your words and grabs ahold of the reader to cast sort of a trance of mesmerized state. It is easy to just fall into the flow of your words and just naturally slow down trying to absorb each and every line. Beautiful poem filled with much contemplation and a sincere message of thought. Loved it. |
||
Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Beautiful Lauren... At times your words dance down the page.. others..like this one... they rain tears. Very open and honest feelings our forth. Loved it! ~Hugs Sweetie~ |
||
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
All day heavy rain -- I wanted to walk at midnight stare among and with the full moon -- watch shadows dance beneath me I seek your face, for my fingers to trace the outline of your lips how erotic my naked words, you, the words, between the words leaving me with sad eyes I have faced that demon, more then once, more then twice How long I stood between worlds waiting, waiting {counting the moments, the hours} Wild storms moved forth I felt no release, I felt no rest Should I write of this now? or wait until first snowfall, when skies are gray, bursting with cold ice I wonder what waits hidden - from what my eyes might see wicks of candles melting slowly — {in the notebook I scribble only words} Deep within the mystic green my fingers recall the color of your smile Silk, with touch ========================== I dont know which is more impressive in this...the imagery that you brushstroke with your words...or the way the words cascade down on the reader like a slow soaking spring rain. Once again the word exquisite wont be enough to define what I feel in your poetry. Absolutely beautiful Lauren. How she loves me, I dont understand |
||
sodpossom Senior Member
since 2001-06-15
Posts 723N.C |
Very beautiful write! |
||
Opeth Senior Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 1543The Ravines |
I don't know where to begin...I will just say that you, Lauren, have a "sweet way" with words. Very well done, indeed. |
||
Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
Deep within the mystic green my fingers recall the color of your smile Silk, with touch I love these words, Lauren. ~ hugs and smiles Lyra |
||
Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Greeneyes, Your words have always touched me, your thoughts written with passion. I'm at a loss to share with you my thoughts about your writings... BC |
||
JAR Junior Member
since 2001-11-06
Posts 34 |
LittleL' So soft upon my eyes' JAR |
||
BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
leaving me with sad eyes I have faced that demon, more then once, more then twice— How long I stood between worlds waiting, waiting The heart is a cornerstone of long forgotten days that have come to pass, only to keep passing by the memories that we left there for a reason. When your heart speaks I hear the soft whispering in your words~ Sharing a sigh and hugging you Lauren~ [This message has been edited by BluesSerenade (07-25-2002 01:01 AM).] |
||
Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
quote: can I listen to whatever voice you're listening to for a while?? it's almost like there's some force next to you, speaking these words into your ear, and watching you write them down. . . the pictures form and take shape, and we're left wondering just why we didn't see it in the first place. . . well, I'm gushing, but. . . it's just what I feel when I read the words. . . thanks. . . ------------------------------------------------------ To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
||
⇧ top of page ⇧ | ||
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |