navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #21 » Light colors on Silk
Open Poetry #21
Post A Reply Post New Topic Light colors on Silk Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Greeneyes
Deputy Moderator 50 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

0 posted 2002-07-24 12:46 PM


{Beautiful vacancy,
of one still moment}


We have moved into history
   a river, slowed by many bends

I gathered to renew
  at the edge

So I held my arms up --
   my palms extending upward
too feel the   sweet  memory   of you
  bestow  so softly

      {so softly love}
upon my eyes, and   body

Your hands, found    my journals,
   my letters--    boxes  of
gentle     tears   silk and color

     {“Don’t be afraid to cry
     and watch me sleep”}


Your whisper   --  
surrounded my shoulders
   in a shroud of light
I need to touch,
that    point    --    where
reflection, and body   join

All   day      heavy rain --
I wanted to walk at midnight
stare among  and with    the full moon --
watch    shadows   dance
         beneath me

         I seek your face,
for my fingers to
trace the outline of your lips
     how erotic my naked words,
you, the words, between the words

leaving    me with sad eyes
   I have faced that demon,
more then once, more then twice—

How long   I stood
between    worlds

    waiting, waiting


{counting the moments,        the hours}

Wild storms    moved forth
I felt no release, I felt no rest—

Should I write of this now?
   or wait until  first snowfall,
when skies are gray, bursting with
cold      ice

I wonder what waits    hidden  -
    from what my eyes might see
wicks of candles melting slowly  —

   {in the notebook I scribble  only words}

Deep within the mystic   green

my fingers recall the color of your
smile    

Silk, with touch


The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds strewn across a blue blanket
I lean against the wind pretend I am weightless and in this moment I am happy



[This message has been edited by Greeneyes (07-24-2002 01:15 AM).]

© Copyright 2002 Lauren~ - All Rights Reserved
Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
1 posted 2002-07-24 02:02 AM




(smiles) Awwwwwww, this is soooooo beautifully sensual, sweet friend, I love the silkened beauty of this, this made me smile, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Lauren, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Elizabeth Cor
Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879
Over the river and through the woods
2 posted 2002-07-24 03:59 AM


We have moved into history
   a river, slowed by many bends

I gathered to renew
  at the edge

I need to touch,
that    point    --    where
reflection, and body   join

     how erotic my naked words,
you, the words, between the words

my fingers recall the color of your
smile    

Silk, with touch

~~~

sigh... what ache with light and color you craft... I like this one, Lauren.

I don't know if it's a criticism... but your poems seem to unravel... like beginning with a solid image on tapestry and then pulling the thread... so the end is a tangle of beautiful colors, but something almost uncertain... material but vague, and losing pattern... just something to think on, and possibly not agree with lol... thanks for this.

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

3 posted 2002-07-24 06:30 AM


So I held my arms up --
   my palms extending upward
too feel the   sweet  memory   of you
  bestow  so softly

      {so softly love}
upon my eyes, and   body

Your hands, found    my journals,
   my letters--    boxes  of
gentle     tears   silk and color

     {“Don’t be afraid to cry
     and watch me sleep”}

Lauren your words are like silk,
wrapping us in your thoughts
comforting us with your heart.
Loved it lady.

Enjoy life, this is NOT a dress rehearsal.

{on the wings of words are spirits fly...and our souls are free~me}


serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

4 posted 2002-07-24 06:42 AM




{“Don’t be afraid to cry
     and watch me sleep”}


I love the implied plea of an invitation of just dropping the farce here. The structure was pretty. Reads like fingers circling on my back....wow.





Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
5 posted 2002-07-24 07:59 AM


You have a style all your own that just has this inviting softness to your words and grabs ahold of the reader to cast sort of a trance of mesmerized state.  It is easy to just fall into the flow of your words and just naturally slow down trying to absorb each and every line.  Beautiful poem filled with much contemplation and a sincere message of thought.  Loved it.
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
6 posted 2002-07-24 08:58 AM


Beautiful Lauren...
At times your words dance down the page..
others..like this one...
they rain tears.
Very open and honest feelings our forth.
Loved it!
~Hugs Sweetie~

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

7 posted 2002-07-24 11:03 AM


All   day      heavy rain --
I wanted to walk at midnight
stare among  and with    the full moon --
watch    shadows   dance
         beneath me

         I seek your face,
for my fingers to
trace the outline of your lips
     how erotic my naked words,
you, the words, between the words

leaving    me with sad eyes
   I have faced that demon,
more then once, more then twice

How long   I stood
between    worlds

    waiting, waiting


{counting the moments,        the hours}

Wild storms    moved forth
I felt no release, I felt no rest

Should I write of this now?
   or wait until  first snowfall,
when skies are gray, bursting with
cold      ice

I wonder what waits    hidden  -
    from what my eyes might see
wicks of candles melting slowly  —

   {in the notebook I scribble  only words}

Deep within the mystic   green

my fingers recall the color of your
smile    

Silk, with touch
==========================


I dont know which is more impressive in this...the imagery that you brushstroke with your words...or the way the words cascade down on the reader like a slow soaking spring rain.
Once again the word exquisite wont be enough to define what I feel in your poetry.
Absolutely beautiful Lauren.

  

How she loves me, I dont understand
If time wont change me, perhaps she can
And I feel her trying when were apart
God dont let me break her heart

sodpossom
Senior Member
since 2001-06-15
Posts 723
N.C
8 posted 2002-07-24 11:11 AM


Very beautiful write!
Opeth
Senior Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 1543
The Ravines
9 posted 2002-07-24 01:22 PM


I don't know where to begin...I will just say that you, Lauren, have a "sweet way" with words. Very well done, indeed.
Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
10 posted 2002-07-24 08:09 PM


Deep within the mystic   green

my fingers recall the color of your
smile    

Silk, with touch

I love these words, Lauren.
~ hugs and smiles

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
11 posted 2002-07-24 09:12 PM


Greeneyes,

Your words have always touched me, your thoughts written with passion. I'm at a loss to share with you my thoughts about your writings...

BC

JAR
Junior Member
since 2001-11-06
Posts 34

12 posted 2002-07-25 12:31 PM


LittleL'

So soft upon my eyes'
JAR

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
13 posted 2002-07-25 12:59 PM


leaving    me with sad eyes
   I have faced that demon,
more then once, more then twice—

How long   I stood
between    worlds

    waiting, waiting

The heart is a cornerstone of long forgotten days that have come to pass, only to keep passing by the memories that we left there for a reason.

When your heart speaks I hear the soft whispering in your words~
Sharing a sigh and hugging you Lauren~

[This message has been edited by BluesSerenade (07-25-2002 01:01 AM).]

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
14 posted 2002-07-25 04:39 PM


quote:
I need to touch,
that    point    --    where
reflection, and body   join

can I listen to whatever voice you're listening to for a while??

it's almost like there's some force next to you, speaking these words into your ear, and watching you write them down. . . the pictures form and take shape, and we're left wondering just why we didn't see it in the first place. . .

well, I'm gushing, but. . . it's just what I feel when I read the words. . . thanks. . .

------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #21 » Light colors on Silk

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary