»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #21
»
Is Superman Real?
| Open Poetry #21 |
|
Is Superman Real? |
|
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California 
|
Is Superman Real? The boys sing a southern twang. Real country, they play their Ovaltine can drums with chopsticks in questionable rhythm. The girls in my long skirts dance with strapless hem tripping, in baby blue eye shadow and fruit flavored lip stick. In grandma’s rough hat of mothballs and dust, and silk kimono from a long ago Hong Kong, I sang "Yankee Doodle". Brother snickered, mother clapped. The boys, bath towels around their necks, jump from the top bunk, their capes flare. The girls lock the bathroom door and giggle. In mother’s strappy heels clunk-clunking across the impressed floor, I wanted to be grown up. Thirteen was the magic time. The girls strut the hall, soldiers in the parade of growing up. My girl is dressed in my high school prom formal, her friend in drill team wear, straight out of my youth they marched singing "It’s my party and I’ll dress as I want to". At thirteen I got braces, acne and my period at the same time I started liking boys. The boys fall . breathless to the floor. "Look Mom, this is how Superman really goes." The frayed towel edges reach the floor with pink floral pattern, not incongruous to them. To be a cowboy, ride a horse into my future was my dream. There was no place for this dream in the dance of my middle class twirling skirts The boys want to have motorcycles and they want to be cool. They have learned to say, "he done" and "ain’t". If I smiled nothing bad could happen. Dressed up, I danced the song in my heart. But… something bad did happen that I couldn’t tell with my voice, or graceful little girl dance. My girl catches a heel in a hem of satin, the sound turns her face of laughter into almost tears. Just beginning, she does not realize that she is almost ending. The boys question me for the answers "Mom, can I ride my bike down town by myself?" "Mom, today at school I couldn’t do my paper and I almost cried." Mom, I don’t want a motorcycle when I grow up because they’re dangerous, right?" "Mom, is Superman real?" --------- rewrite from 99 [This message has been edited by Martie (07-24-2002 12:42 AM).] |
||
| © Copyright 2002 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
sorry martie... posted my own superman poem here in reply to yours instead of simply saying what beautiful writing you have..... it was the timing or something.. i love your writing and you inspired me [This message has been edited by doreen peri (07-24-2002 07:10 AM).] |
||
|
Elizabeth Cor Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879Over the river and through the woods |
One critique: The repetition of “grown up” and “growing up” in these two stanzas: In mother’s strappy heels clunk-clunking across the impressed floor, I wanted to be grown up. Thirteen was the magic time The girls strut the hall, soldiers in the parade of growing up. …is jarring I looked for your first rendition of this… and can’t decide which I like better, the formatting does create a different kind of speech and so taking that the newest is obviously what you want to convey, I’d say that’s the right choice.  Liked this very much, Martie… you have such motion in your poems: not just a range of emotion, but a time line to them… a reader actually grows along with the words… … but you never did answer… so, is Superman real? |
||
Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
  (smiles) Oh Martie, this is soooooo beautiful, sweet friend, I LOVE IT, this is cute and shines with such sweet innocence, for I too remember asking so many questions when I was young I must have burnt my parents out! (giggles) This is wonderful, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Martie, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Dang. It's when the questions start coming that the grown-ups have to grow up, and cling tenaciously to the dreams of the young.... How good is this? How good is it when we wake to greet the day and all is well? That's how good this is.... |
||
|
Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
A super poem, Martie... I don't know what this superman craze is lately, but I had a dream about him a couple of nights ago! ~ super hugsLyra |
||
Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Martie....where do you come up with all of this? Wow! What a rememberance of another time and place... Yep, He is real, don't you know that? |
||
|
Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Martie, This is a super poem. Can't tell you how much I enjoyed it. "squeeze" |
||
|
rwood Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793Tennessee |
Sometimes we just have to question the obvious just to lighten the air.. I love how you took me down memory lane and allowed a peek at who you might have been..(who we all used to be) and it was fun. So enjoyable but sincerely provoking are your writes. Sincerely, Reg |
||
|
Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Martie, A super duper write. Liked it very much... BC |
||
|
RSWells Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533 |
Awkward times those moments when pretend fades to real. Moving, thanks. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
