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Open Poetry #21
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. . . Mapping your love . . .
| Open Poetry #21 |
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. . . Mapping your love . . . |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
This is the original, first draft. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~*~ My eyes follow the rise and fall of your curves. I marvel at every Peak, gasp with each valley, and catch my breath on the plateaus of you. My fingers explore the Braille of you. Exquisite topography changes with the reading of you. A tactile invitation of love. Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. |
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| © Copyright 2002 The Tall Texan aka Doctor Love - All Rights Reserved | |||
Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
  (smiles) This is soooooo beautiful, sweet friend, I too believe love is a special sacred language that touch alone can identify and you speak of the magic so well here! (smiles) This is beautiful, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Why would you want this to be a draft? Seems good enough to all of us... |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Dang Good!! ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
Mountains and valleys, readin' the map, Braille's surely fun this way But if ya stutter ya could get slapped! |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace |
wished my rough drafts looked like this...helen |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Just a little trip along a loved ones body. I like it, Bob. Sandra |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
I've wondered where you are. Glad that you're here again. *Jenn* breathtaking writing as usual I will not bend to the cowardice of a silent judgement. |
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rwood Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793Tennessee |
Quite lovely..succinct and enamoring.. Sincerely, Reg |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
Thank you all for your time and wonderful comments. I won't be around as much as I use to for a while. I drop in to read and comment as I can. Again, my heartfelt thanx Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Bob darling heart and collector of moon’s shimmer this is extraordinarily good, you do know this flows like liquid light don’t you? It has the words entwined in a weave of unsurpassed beauty do I love it? You know I do. Truly exquisite writing. The softness in this poem is a delight to read I simply love it utterly utterly love it. And if you are practicing Braille Mmmm what a way to learn. I love this utterly.  Love and warm stuff As always Mushy   Breathe through the heat of our desire Thy coolness and they balm Let sense be dumb let flesh retire Speak through the earthquake wind and fire [This message has been edited by Marsha (07-23-2002 08:17 PM).] |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Now we can check out the draft, and the rewrite... |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
aha! You have given us more than haiku, here. Enjoyed the read...it is haiku in its nature, I believe..."less is more" you've told us just enough to experience the joy of the "yen" without being too explicit. Like seeing the vision through organdy curtains, one knows what's happening without completely intruding. Whether on the shoal or on the shore, |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
InterLoper~ 'A tactile invitation of love' Indeed, Mr. Cartographer ... You've drawn the map sooooo well~ Now let's go hiking !  *Hugs* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Interloper A romantic trip of words...enjoyed! |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
Sunshine ~ Thanks for remembering. Virginia ~ What a lovely comment and compliment. Thank you Marge ~ Lemme get my boots on and we're off! Martie ~ Thank you. Glad you enjoyed the excursion Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
This is a first draft? Wow...I wish my final drafts were this good.  ~ hugs from a chipmunkLyra |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Bob darling man and song and writer of the moons magic, giving this a bump because as always your way with words is outstanding. Never is there a pause in the flow of each line, each word placed in this dance of wordy delight with perfect precision. Again darling heart I’m spellbound by your magic. Beautiful weave of words truly magnificent. If you continue to shine so, I shall be forced, against my normal reticence, to find something really magnificent to say, and you know how much I hate to do that. Thank you for you, you are very special Love and warm stuff As always Mushy Breathe through the heat of our desire |
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