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Interloper
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart

0 posted 2002-07-22 02:57 PM


This is the original, first draft.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~*~

My eyes
follow the
rise and fall
of your curves.

I marvel at every
Peak,
gasp with each
valley,
and catch my
breath on the
plateaus
of you.

My fingers
explore the
Braille
of you.

Exquisite topography
changes
with the
reading
of you.

A tactile
invitation of love.

Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write.

© Copyright 2002 The Tall Texan aka Doctor Love - All Rights Reserved
Mistletoe Angel
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since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
1 posted 2002-07-22 03:00 PM




(smiles) This is soooooo beautiful, sweet friend, I too believe love is a special sacred language that touch alone can identify and you speak of the magic so well here! (smiles) This is beautiful, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2002-07-22 03:00 PM



Why would you want this to be a draft?  Seems good enough to all of us...

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
3 posted 2002-07-22 03:02 PM


Dang Good!!  

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
4 posted 2002-07-22 03:06 PM


Mountains and valleys, readin' the map,
Braille's surely fun this way
But if ya stutter ya could get slapped!

1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace
5 posted 2002-07-22 03:08 PM


wished my rough drafts looked like this...helen
catalinamoon
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
6 posted 2002-07-22 03:28 PM


Just a little trip along a loved ones body. I like it, Bob.
Sandra

Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
7 posted 2002-07-22 05:12 PM


I've wondered where you are. Glad that you're here again.
*Jenn*

breathtaking writing as usual

I will not bend to the cowardice of a silent judgement.

rwood
Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793
Tennessee
8 posted 2002-07-22 11:36 PM


Quite lovely..succinct and enamoring..

Sincerely,
Reg

Interloper
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
9 posted 2002-07-23 12:42 PM


Thank you all for your time and wonderful comments.

I won't be around as much as I use to for a while.  I drop in to read and comment as I can.

Again, my heartfelt thanx

Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write.

Marsha
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since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
10 posted 2002-07-23 08:16 PM


Bob darling heart and collector of moon’s shimmer this is extraordinarily good, you do know this flows like liquid light don’t you? It has the words entwined in a weave of unsurpassed beauty do I love it? You know I do. Truly exquisite writing. The softness in this poem is a delight to read I simply love it utterly utterly love it.

And if you are practicing Braille Mmmm what a way to learn. I love this utterly.


Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy



Breathe through the heat of our desire
Thy coolness and they balm
Let sense be dumb let flesh retire
Speak through the earthquake wind and fire

[This message has been edited by Marsha (07-23-2002 08:17 PM).]

Sunshine
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Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
11 posted 2002-08-06 10:27 AM



Now we can check out the draft,
and the rewrite...

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
12 posted 2002-08-06 10:43 AM


aha! You have given us more than haiku, here.

Enjoyed the read...it is haiku in its nature, I believe..."less is more" you've told us just enough to experience the joy of the "yen" without being too explicit.

Like seeing the vision through organdy curtains, one knows what's happening without completely intruding.

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

Marge Tindal
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
13 posted 2002-08-06 10:48 AM


InterLoper~

'A tactile
invitation of love'


Indeed, Mr. Cartographer ...
You've drawn the map sooooo well~
Now let's go hiking !
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
           noles1@totcon.com                       

Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
14 posted 2002-08-06 10:53 AM


Interloper

A romantic trip of words...enjoyed!

Interloper
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Deep in the heart
15 posted 2002-08-06 10:57 AM


Sunshine ~
Thanks for remembering.

Virginia ~
What a lovely comment and compliment.  Thank you

Marge ~
Lemme get my boots on and we're off!

Martie ~
Thank you.  Glad you enjoyed the excursion

Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write.

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
16 posted 2002-08-06 11:02 AM


This is a first draft?
Wow...I wish my final drafts were this good.
~ hugs from a chipmunk

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

Marsha
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
17 posted 2002-08-07 06:25 PM


Bob darling man and  song and writer of the moons magic, giving this a bump because as always your way with words is outstanding. Never is there a pause in the flow of each line, each word placed in this dance of wordy delight with perfect precision. Again darling heart I’m spellbound by your magic. Beautiful weave of words truly magnificent. If you continue to shine so, I shall be forced, against my normal reticence, to find something really magnificent to say, and you know how much I hate to do that.

Thank you for you, you are very special

Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy

Breathe through the heat of our desire
Thy coolness and they balm
Let sense be dumb let flesh retire
Speak through the earthquake wind and fire

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