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Open Poetry #21
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Perpetual Darkness (VAS's Challenge)
| Open Poetry #21 |
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Perpetual Darkness (VAS's Challenge) |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside 
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Sudden blindness~ each morning fading a little more shadows blurring his vision closing in around his eyes. He told me once there is no black or white only a film of gray, the light no longer exists but the warmth of the sun felt warmer and the breezes blew softer then after the lights went out for good. Even the children had gone only to visit on the weekends their pictures embossed in his minds eye forever is how you'll always remain he said. Even though your voices are not here to follow left alone to feel his way down the halls trying to remember what lies where and what the future holds in his world of perpetual darkness. His senses became keener his visions lie neatly in a scrap book of sightless memories no longer looking in the mirror but seeing what he felt in the arms of those he loved. I remember waving my hands in front of his face willing him to see me once more while listening to my voice his eyes staring across the room, holding onto the sound that drew us near. As the years passed by much too quickly he rose so far above it all even when he fell he would pick himself up swearing under his breath only to laugh about it later. His sudden blindness strengthened his character and helped to define the woman I've become. I don't dwell for long but I often wonder, what was going through his mind in those days when the children were gone and his eyes had died~~ For my Dad I miss him always~ [This message has been edited by BluesSerenade (07-20-2002 01:34 AM).] |
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the_loner_23 Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479Jacksonville, Florida, USA |
great tribute Cold hands means a warm heart |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Even the children had gone only to visit on the weekends their pictures embossed in his minds eye forever is how you'll always remain he said. Even though your voices are not here to follow left alone to feel his way down the halls trying to remember what lies where and what the future holds in his world of perpetual darkness. A very powerful, loving poem. You are very fortunate to feel this way about your father. One blaze of glory - glory |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Thank you for always reading and responding Loner, it is much appreciated, you're sweet. Duncan~ The times they were a changing so much in those days, I can't help but go back and wonder.....and yes I am fortunate, because he made it so. Many thanks to you for reading kind sir~ |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggsssssss) Oh Lori, I know how you feel, it isn't easy to imagine what is going on through others minds but I know deep down your dad will always think of you and love you with all his heart just as he wants you to be happy! (sigh) This is a very sensitive and caring poem, sweet friend, God Bless You, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Lori, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
This is a super write! I really like the way you've presented it. "His senses became keener his visions lie neatly in a scrap book of sightless memories no longer looking in the mirror but seeing what he felt in the arms of those he loved. I remember waving my hands in front of his face willing him to see me once more while listening to my voice his eyes staring across the room, holding onto the sound that drew us near." Nice verse and a wonderful composition all the way around. A heartfelt tribute from you to the reader! I love your pen name....I know I've got a song stored away for your pen name some where. [This message has been edited by ethome (07-20-2002 05:13 PM).] |
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Dee Member Elite
since 2000-08-19
Posts 2330Queensland, Australia |
Lori, I know how hard it is missing a Dad who is no longer there. Beautiful tribute. Dee Stand straight and tall, not the reflection as others see you, but as you truely are. Clearwater |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Even the children had gone only to visit on the weekends their pictures embossed in his minds eye forever is how you'll always remain he said. ================================ His senses became keener his visions lie neatly in a scrap book of sightless memories no longer looking in the mirror but seeing what he felt in the arms of those he loved. ================================= I don't dwell for long but I often wonder, what was going through his mind in those days when the children were gone and his eyes had died~~ =================================== This whole piece is lovely and shows not only a great love but a great respect as well. You honor him beautifully. The above lines really say much. Shows a depth of feeling that many don't go to. The last one I highlighted is a perfect way to end this wonderful composition. The flow of thoughts and memories read like an image standing in front of us....they are complete without givnig too much detail....and they get the emotions across without wasting words. All in all, a very lovely read from beginning to end. Enjoyed very much. |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Wow,you did a great job with a challenge. Very sad and touching, too. Hugs Sandra |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Thanks to all of you~~~ This poem was important to me in so many ways. It helped me to confront a part of my past, and come to terms ... when the going gets rough one must rise to the occasion and make the most of it. He is my inspiration that gives me strength and courage to carry on. Which is what I plan to do to regain some order and find that peace in my life. I like to think this was my best and with that said I shall take a low and graceful curtsy and bid you adieu~ Thank you again for your virtual friendships and the kindness you've shared with me. Fondly~ |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
Lori~ Dear heart.....first big hugsssss secondly, thank you for so willingly opening your heart, what an amazing poem this was....filled with so much emotion and LOVE.....be well you find your Peace....  Lauren~ The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds strewn across a blue blanket |
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