shutting the door behind you...

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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

0 posted 2002-07-19 10:55 PM

Not too much time,
No. Not much now.
So now, we laugh at everything.
Everytime,
we hug goodbye,
we study eyes
in dirge's sing
and smile them into lullabyes.

This may be the last we touch--
this, this thing, we don't discuss.
This may be the last goodbye.
So let us laugh--Enough of Cry!
Let's just talk about the day...
"normal"-keep the 'strange' at bay.

I hate to shut the door behind -
reluctant twist of wrist in wind.
I hate to turn and lock the screen.
These days I hate most everything.
I do not want to be so strong.
I want home.
And home?
Is gone...

And every word I yearn to say,
abandons me- I whisper "hey"
My Dad--returning gaze to me,
sad eyes in apology,
I, in him,
and him in me...

and HE tells ME--to be strong.

*repost for my Dad...and for myself...miss you Dad.*

and I'm done now. It's been a bitch of a year, Dad..

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant

since 2002-06-08

Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA

1 posted 2002-07-19 10:57 PM

Great tribute

Cold hands means a warm heart

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

2 posted 2002-07-20 12:44 PM

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-05

Posts 8296
Michigan

3 posted 2002-07-20 12:48 PM

This is an absolute gem of a tribute to your Dad, Karen...
I am sure that it has been a terrible year, and I know exactly what those feel like.
I went through one when my first husband was sick, one after he died, one after my son died and then this one when I was sick...and the results of my biopsy are still inconclusive....bitch bitch bitch bitch.....
So sorry to bitch all over your beautiful poem.

~ hugs and tears

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled" Gwendolyn Brooks

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

4 posted 2002-07-20 01:08 AM

Take peace in knowing he sees

and he smiles.

Nothing means more to me than faith,
family and my friends.

Proud Canadian

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

5 posted 2002-07-20 01:09 AM

And now it's time to draw on the strength he gave you and face the future. I'm sure he's very proud of you.

doreen peri
Member Elite

since 1999-05-25

Posts 3812
Virginia

6 posted 2002-07-20 01:19 AM

this dor is always open......

to you...

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

7 posted 2002-07-20 01:23 AM

I'm sorry. I am having a BAD nite...

thanks...I feel like such an ass...

brian sites
Senior Member

since 2002-06-25

Posts 1475
usa

8 posted 2002-07-20 01:35 AM

it doesn't appear you need to apologize
serenity
not when there is this great big shoulder
called PIP
for you
this is an amazing poem
take care
BS.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

9 posted 2002-07-20 01:41 AM

thank you brian...I knew I couldn't keep him alive, but something in me wants to keep him vibrant yanno? Thanks again...and yep...I can sleep now.

soon...maybe..?

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

10 posted 2002-07-20 03:34 AM

Such a touching and loving repost.....I'm so glad you let us all read it.
I know your Dad's more than proud of you and well he should be.

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

11 posted 2002-07-20 03:48 AM

Yanno, I have those "missing you" nights all the time, and it helps having Janet Marie talk to you

honest! She is like one of those fancy drinks with the little umbrellas that look pretty and pack a punch yanno? Hey, that is what loss is - missing! And for some, including me it doesn't shut with a door. Life goes on though and you find a place for the pain eventually (or so they tell me, I haven't found that place myself yet, but when I do I will give you the directions). Hugs to you sweetie.

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-05

Posts 8296
Michigan

12 posted 2002-07-20 11:58 AM

Karen...please know that your Dad is watching over you and guiding you. Although you think you have lost him, you haven't...and you never will.
No one can ever take his place, but he is still there for you and you are his legacy...
Be proud of that...
I'm sorry I bitched all over your poem last night....
I guess I must have been having a bad one also.

~ hugs from my heart

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled" Gwendolyn Brooks

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

13 posted 2002-07-20 02:05 PM

I can't say it gets any better, Karen, but I can tell you the ache eventually gets replaced with happy memories..the hurt seems to lesson...

hugsssss
M

*I love the last few poems, I wish I could express my feelings like that

Charisma

Member Ascendant

since 2000-09-30

Posts 5906
lost in blue pages

14 posted 2002-07-20 02:12 PM

great tribute and you translated your feelings so well....

(((warm hugs)))
Charisma

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

15 posted 2002-07-20 02:16 PM

Don't you EVER stop posting tributes to your dad...Never! Gads...if you told me I had to stop posting tributes to my folks, I'd have to get Ron to throw me off Passions...

...

nah...you're not allowed to not remember your Dad in any way you wish...y'hear? [I think I just negated myself...]

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

16 posted 2002-07-20 07:04 PM

Thank you all so much...sometimes I just hold things in and then...sigh.."serenity go boom"

Thanks for listening...and lyra...I swear I'll send the next e mail I write...giggling, I keep deleting them thinking I sound "stupid" (am I having a confidence crisis or what?) sigh...love to all.

snowpants
Member Elite

since 2000-09-16

Posts 2061
KS

17 posted 2002-07-21 02:05 AM

'And every word I yearn to say,
abandons me- I whisper "hey"
My Dad--returning gaze to me,
sad eyes in apology,
I, in him,
and him in me...

and HE tells ME--to be strong.'

Hey Karen...this is an excellent write...I am always impressed by your expression of feelings...

sp

I want to wake up to the sound of waves
crashing on a brand new day;
keep the memory of your face
but wipe the pain away...

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

18 posted 2002-07-21 09:11 AM

catalinamoon

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-03

Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

19 posted 2002-07-21 10:03 AM

Well expressed, sweetie. I know how it feels too, its been a pretty bad 2 years in my family, too.
Hugs
Sandra

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-21

Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song

20 posted 2002-07-21 10:27 AM

Just leaving

for an

of a poet. You HAVE the strength......and HE knows it. Beautiful thoughts.

devina
Member Elite

since 1999-10-28

Posts 3539
Cali

21 posted 2002-07-22 02:18 PM

you dazzle from the beyond sis...

I won't lecture you on the confidence and leaning on me thing...(maybe later--in an email?) smiles...this was painfully beautiful Karen...

and you know what? I know that you know that HE knows...got that? good.

Love to ya me sis!!
Tanya
Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

22 posted 2002-07-24 06:05 AM

I love.

smiles and thank-yous.

wow.

blush.

(serenity exits...hand-over-heart)

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