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Open Poetry #21
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white on glass
| Open Poetry #21 |
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white on glass |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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I've been sending smoke signals-- pressing fingers, white on glass. Hostage pleading with her eyes breathing heat--a gasp of past... Like the finger traced through frost-- a path of vision still remains. Like the child, I stare and pant. I want to write on glass again. Clouds--to bring the clarity as morning sings the night in scorn-- a calm that brings me to my knees- my nose pressed on the glass--forlorn. |
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| © Copyright 2002 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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shadowchild458 Member
since 2002-07-10
Posts 117MN,USA |
there is no comment i could possibly write that is worthy of being made on this poem. but i'm never worthy of anything nor is anything i write so here i go: i loved it, it was beautiful and it gives me a very strong feeling the way you talk about the child sends chills down my back and all in all i want to read more. i want the flowing river to go on for forever instead of stopping at the ocean since it is so beautiful (that sounds weird...) but all in all i'm going to go read more of yours now. life may just take a while but i guess heaven's worth the wait |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
ohhhh thats so good I can see the forlorn little hostage her need is compelling a startled reflection you're not finished telling? so good serenity BS. I never aimed at reality; I aimed at truth. --Orson Welles |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
wonderfully done karen-- very enjoyable  JThere is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar. |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Like the finger traced through frost-- a path of vision still remains. Like the child, I stare and pant. I want to write on glass again. My earliest memory is of boredom. Wasn't alot of glass to write on then. Plenty now! Love this. Hi, K. please don't change, please don't break |
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Bridget Shenachie Senior Member
since 2002-01-23
Posts 1056Kansas USA |
Ah yeah! Sometimes I miss being a kid. YOU said it so well! Shenachie |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I've been sending smoke signals-- pressing fingers, white on glass. Hostage pleading with her eyes breathing heat--a gasp of past... ========================================== Clouds--to bring the clarity as morning sings the night in scorn-- a calm that brings me to my knees- my nose pressed on the glass--forlorn. =========================================== moth underglass? (yktiktyk) I know why the cage bird sings (rhymes) you write it...I feel it... seems about right since youre writing on mirrors.   How she loves me, I dont understand |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
ya just gotta quit talking to yer monitor... I see some rhyme getting polished in there.....no let's all go........daDUM daDUM daDUM.......try it........wasn't scary at all.(sorta kinda in a cowboy hidden way)LOL.....watch for your preview. |
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Waseem Cheema Member
since 2001-03-16
Posts 369Pakistan |
Very Lovely and so difficult for me to understand |
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Goodknight Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386Ohio, USA |
this is very well done - I really liked it - Paul |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
serenity You pull me out of my easy feeling with this one... you write so well, you know! |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Serenity~ 'Like the finger traced through frost-- a path of vision still remains. Like the child, I stare and pant. I want to write on glass again.' Oh yes ! This one sent me to the mirror ... Honest Injun ! *Hugs* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Anvrill Senior Member
since 2002-06-21
Posts 710in the interzone now |
Very shivery-yummy. And I am soooo inarticulate right now, it's not even funny. written in blood before everything went black |
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BloomingRose Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092Florida |
Clouds--to bring the clarity as morning sings the night in scorn-- a calm that brings me to my knees- my nose pressed on the glass--forlorn. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Very intense poetry. Though her face is pressed to the glass, I do see a ray of hope in the morning light, because she is still able to see. Deb [This message has been edited by BloomingRose (07-23-2002 05:06 PM).] |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Surely puts one in that nostalgic place. Awesome write, S Sandra |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
*ouch*  Ah can feel i', Sen...She said burn ... together. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
hey...popping in for a quick "thanks"--I'll be back later (I think...) and I confess, I popped in and out reading comments all day, and I still don't have a clue what to say! This was one of those that "fall from the ceiling"--so I have no clue to tell ya what it's about, and it even feels funny saying thanks for it. I don't know where the hell this came from...shaking my head... grin...I used to write to sort out my feelings...now? I'm psycho-analyzing myself through my own posts....tch. I think I NEED to go out. Back later...and that's a threat!  |
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redheart angrybraids Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 410honolulu, hawaii |
ummm, it reminded me of a little girl, when i would paint on the windows with my fingers in the frost crisp and the hot dew from the evenging fire, i loved this piece it brought me home so a silent memory. thank you kindly, serenity Kindly, |
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Elizabeth Cor Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879Over the river and through the woods |
... oh, I LOVE THIS!!! id write more but theres this princess that demanding my attention at the moment... but. god. I just freakin' LOVE this... cant even repeat fave lines or id have to cut and paste the whole thing... library, baby... and remember, a cold nose means you're healthy!  |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
this reminds me of the little baby footprints we used to make on glass that had condensation on it, where you cup your hand into a fist and press the bottom part (outter pinky and palm) onto the glass and then make the respective toe prints with a fingertip. ok so i'm up late again thinking too much....good night |
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