Yougoslavia - Independence day - Poet deVine's challenge

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Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant

since 2001-05-07

Posts 5182
Netherlands

0 posted 2002-07-01 06:55 PM

I know it's early, but at the moment I don't know yet if I will be here on the 4th of July, so I thought you wouldn't mind if I post it now. It was a challenge by Poet deVine. We had to write about freedom, not related to your own country, but to some other place or country. I choosed Yougoslavia.

Yougoslavia

On wings of freedom I will flow, my space is limited alas
Destructed villages I see, where once true freedom was
For nation wide they lived in peace, now death came in real quick
The once loved neighbour, loving guy, holds in his hand a brick
Because he is of different faith, but serving the same God

Mind is twisted, can't think straight, hate in his eyes shines through
But the only thing that's on his mind, is wishing death for you
They take up arms and conquer land, wipe out the men who live there
And when on freedom's wings I flow, see scattered families everywhere
Because they are of different faith, but serving the same God

I thought the Holocaust was over, buried after World War Two
But it was there on television, clearly to see for me and you
Mostly men behind wired fences, reaching out in total despair
Locked up skeletons, calling out: "Hey world, why don't you care!"
Because they were of different faith, but serving the same God

Now peace is back again they say and bad ones are on trial
But still the only thing I hear, is this big, complete denial
How could it ever've gotten this far, that loved ones became the enemy
On wings of freedom I still fly, but one day, will they all hate me,
Because I am of different faith, not serving any God?

Like scattered leaves...my words will flow

[This message has been edited by Titia Geertman (07-02-2002 04:18 PM).]

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

1 posted 2002-07-01 07:17 PM

Wonderful, Titia!

The repetitive lines was nicely effective, and the ending twist "nailed" it...

I admire the smooth quality here, as well as the message.

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

2 posted 2002-07-01 07:26 PM

You met the challenge exactly in the way I'd hoped!! Thank you for this wonderful poem and equally wonderful lesson.

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

3 posted 2002-07-01 08:32 PM

Yes, Titia, unfortunately they will

This is very powerful writing

ecrivan
Member Elite

since 2001-12-10

Posts 3923
my own state

4 posted 2002-07-01 08:39 PM

Titia

When you go back to the Middle ages and before that's what happened, so as long as history repeats itself which is what it's doing..what you refer to will sadly continue..will we ever learn???!!
Thanks for sharing

[This message has been edited by ecrivan (07-01-2002 09:24 PM).]

cherrypoptart
Member

since 2002-06-09

Posts 109
state of wordthiness

5 posted 2002-07-01 08:58 PM

This is a very strong message and write.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

6 posted 2002-07-01 09:23 PM

Very powerful write Titia!
Well done!
~Hugs~

Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant

since 2001-05-07

Posts 5182
Netherlands

7 posted 2002-07-01 09:29 PM

Sadly enough I have to agree with you, as long as there are people, there will be fighting over religion.

But then....it has nothing to do with religion you know...but everything with power...and that's such a waste of time...I think

Thanks for your replies

Titia

Like scattered leaves...my words will flow

SmartChick
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-09-23

Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown

8 posted 2002-07-02 02:32 AM

Titia, looks like you met the challenge very well.

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

9 posted 2002-07-02 06:22 PM

Titia~
What a wonderful piece from the pages of history-in-repeat~
You are soooooooooo good !!
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Krissy
Senior Member

since 2002-02-22

Posts 556
kent England

10 posted 2002-07-02 06:28 PM

Tita this is a wonderfully well written poem, which touched me with it’s powerful images you are indeed a good writer I like this I wish for peace but know there is a long way to go. Well done on the challenge

Love and warm stuff
As always
Krissy

And while thy willing soul transpiers
at every pore with instant fires
Andrew Marvell 1621-1678

Gemini
Senior Member

since 1999-12-15

Posts 1203
Wisconsin, USA

11 posted 2002-07-02 06:35 PM

Very splendid piece well written. Yugoslavia has always been in my thoughts, and I cannot begin to comprehend the atrocities that were committed there in the name of religion. My heart goes out to these people. My grand parents were from Slovenia, which was the only part of Yugoslavia who was not involved in the wars.

Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant

since 2001-05-07

Posts 5182
Netherlands

12 posted 2002-07-02 08:35 PM

Thanks to all and have a nice 4th of July.

Titia

Like scattered leaves...my words will flow

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