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VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

0 posted 2002-06-11 06:15 PM

Amid the Pines

as we drove the rutted road
dusty clods swapped places with stones
clouds of ecru rose, egging our noses to sneeze
then, just around the bend
we saw it
a chimney, amid old, charred woods standing half-tall, abutted
and cordoned off by a crumbly
concrete foundation
grass, wildflowers, weeds
were growing up through, around, and inside,
oblivious of the loss that had occurred there
the history that had been cut off
by tragedy
What stories could the chimney’s stones tell?
What lullabies may have been sung there?
What tears of joy or sadness had risen
with warm vapors up the chimney’s flue?
What ears had heard love’s whispers
only to be snuffed out by billowing flames
of summer’s too hot nights,
its too hot strikes of lightning bolts
whose targets, though random, struck home

©June 11, 2002

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

1 posted 2002-06-11 06:26 PM

VAS,
Good palette, nice write.

Nicole
Senior Member

since 1999-06-23

Posts 1835
Florida

2 posted 2002-06-12 10:38 AM

Very nice imagery, I could see this clearly - and feel the wonder/curiosity/sadness looking at it. Well done!

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

3 posted 2002-06-12 10:48 AM

Nicole, you made my day. This poem seemed so different from anything I've ever done I was afraid it was going to sink into oblivion with only hearing from one person.

I truly wished for feedback from many. At least now, there's a second chance for me to hear from more.

Thank you for your kind encouragement, too. And you also, Seymour!

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

Interloper

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-06

Posts 8369
Deep in the heart

4 posted 2002-06-12 11:49 AM

This is a slightly different write from your pen and I must say ... I like it ... a lot!
Well done, Virginia

Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write.

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

5 posted 2002-06-12 04:38 PM

I like this write of difference from your pen very much Virginia. Well done. *s*

I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance~~(Garth)

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

6 posted 2002-06-12 04:39 PM

ahhh. . . this was good to read VAS. . . a wonderful portrait captured in time. . .

great job. . .

-------------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

7 posted 2002-11-19 03:47 AM

Very descriptive...James

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

8 posted 2002-12-31 01:51 AM

what a picture!

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