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Open Poetry #20
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Solstice flight
| Open Poetry #20 |
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Solstice flight |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA 
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daystars dawn upon his Solstice flight sailing through the sky on Universal streams he finds his way to the heart's true light moonrays fade now from his sight as he leaves the land of once-broken dreams daystars dawn upon his Solstice flight once lost in the darkness of that night he learns the way of starshine beams he finds his way to the heart's true light he sees that long will be the fight when ears hear the heart's dark screams daystars dawn upon his Solstice flight he longs to feel dawn's full might he finally learns what it all means he finds his way to the heart's true light his heart now feels the power of right and now, as it breaks at its seams daystars dawn upon his Solstice flight he finds his way to the heart's true light ---------------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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| © Copyright 2002 John Garcia - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Secret Whisper Member
since 2001-01-25
Posts 298Through the Looking Glass |
I don't know how you could improve upon this piece. The diction is very good ( I particularly liked the tone of the first stanza.) Kudos to you. "Why should I live? Why should I do anything? Is there in life any purpose which the inevitable death that awaits me does not undo and destroy?" -Tols |
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Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
The magic in your words paints a vision that makes me sigh The vision within your words brings a tear to the eye thank you...**big big hugs** Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams. |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoy your read  |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
now yanno I love a flight of magicical poetry!  Beautiful---and you reminded me that Beltane is the next Sabbat--and THAT is MY holiday!I don't often getto hear the male point of view--so I particularly enjoy when you write in this style. Blessed Be! |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 WOW!!! Oh my gosh, this is such a wonderful villanelle honoring our loving lord, sweet friend, I LOVE IT!!! (big hugggssssss) This seems to me like the story of a boy longing to get to the Lord and every stanza is like getting one step closer until he is standing before His kingdom in spirit and embraced with love and hope! (smiles) God Bless You, sweet friend, this is excellent, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Sven, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Beautifully done my poet friend... An enjoyable ride... |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
Enjoyed your flight dearest...majestic as always!!! Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
when ears hear the heart's dark screams This line fascinated me so I almost forgot to read the rest of the poem. *S* But as fine as it is, it's only one pearl of a superb strand. *S* I like this very much, Sven. *S* |
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SmittenKitten Senior Member
since 2001-06-20
Posts 1131where the sky and horizon meet |
Sven~ This is so magical and profound, I love poems like that. I could read it again and again! *hugs* ~Krista Your beautiful words & creativity allow me to connect with the same in myself. |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
he longs to feel dawn's full might he finally learns what it all means he finds his way to the heart's true light Wonderful write Sven, and the repeating line patterns are very effective in this write. Well done. Like a red brick, |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Secret Whisper, thank you so much for your words. . .exactly what I was hoping for. . . Startime, thank you my friend, good to see you back. . . glad that you enjoyed. . . vandana, thank you as always my friend. . . serenity, you know me, I've always been one to be flying. . . glad that I can present this point to you. . . Noah, that's one way to look at it my friend. . . thanks. . . Magnus, I find that there's always room for one more. . .thanks for coming along. . . Devina, I know that you're right there as well. . . thakns. . . suthern, thank you. . . that line stuck out to me as well, glad that you liked it. . . Krista, thanks. . . I like doing magical. . . makes the mind think. . . GS, thank you. . . I've decided to go back and revisit formed poetry. . . just to make it my own. . . glad that you enjoyed. . . ------------------------------------------------------------ To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
I agree with the comments of "magical". This is indeed that. Sandra |
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