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Open Poetry #20
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See me?
Member
since 2002-02-13
Posts 93
UK

0 posted 2002-04-15 10:56 AM



Loss of Love

When did you stop caring?
One day it was your shirt I was wearing
But now all I wear is my heart on my sleeve
Just for you to snatch it and it to once again grieve
All I want is for you to care
You don’t have to say I love you if you don’t dare,
Why don’t you think of me?
And remember how we used to be
The way that we would laugh and smile
Is it too much to ask for that back for a while
Why is there so much pain?
Every time you do it again
Why can’t you swallow your pride and make amends
Why can we just be the best of friends?
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Sorry not one of my best but i'm having a writers block at the moment, it is from the heart but any comment would be welcome, God Bless.

Life is about change,sometimes its painful,sometimes its beautiful,sometimes its both.

© Copyright 2002 Clare Griffiths - All Rights Reserved
Dulcinea
Senior Member
since 2001-07-22
Posts 774
IN
1 posted 2002-04-15 12:35 PM


Sometimes, just cleansing the heart of its pain unplugs the blockage. So purge on, you will find the flow with this eventually, though you did manage the rhyme. Try just letting it write itself, without rhyme or reason and see where that leads. I believe a poet's best work are sometimes the "pain" poems, only because they come from the heart...well done.
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
2 posted 2002-04-15 01:36 PM


"One day it was your shirt I was wearing
but now all I wear is my heart on my sleeve."
Nice expression of your feelings...James

DawnG
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-06-23
Posts 1494
United States
3 posted 2002-05-15 01:21 PM


Ok, maybe this is not one of your best, but I feel you have accomplished a much greater goal. That is in getting your feelings across superbly. I felt as if I was right there as you were talking to this person or in your mind as you were having these memories.

                       Dawn

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

4 posted 2002-05-15 01:23 PM


God love y'.

She said burn ... together.
-TON

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